In a perfect universe, a good first date would end with the guy telling us he had an amazing time and is dying to see us again. Then he would actually follow-up with a text the next day (ignoring that stupid 3 day rule) and we’d have a second date lined up ASAP, making us excited about the possibility of true love. As we all know, it’s unfortunately not even close to a perfect universe, so this happens pretty rarely. Instead, we get ghosted or decide we don’t want to see the person ever again or maybe a combo of both. When it’s mutual, you shrug it off, but when you’re into the guy and he doesn’t want anything more to do with you, or vice versa, things get kind of tricky. Here are the 10 worst post-date behaviors you could get from a guy.
- Texting without asking you out again. Guys have texted me everything from “so how’s your week going?” to “did you get home last night?” The last one was kind of funny because where else would I have gone? It’s awesome when the guy you like follows-up with a text the next day, but would it kill them to mention that they had a great time and want to see us again? We don’t want to get into a situation where we text back and forth endlessly and then the momentum just dies, and it drives us mad because we wonder if they’re actually looking for a girlfriend or a texting buddy. If you want a second date, please let us know.
- Immediately going back on Tinder/OKCupid/etc. Of course we get that one date doesn’t equal marriage and all that, but if we’re trying to decide whether or not we want to see you again, we don’t want to know that you felt the need to search for another girl ASAP. We want you to think we’re special enough to at least hold off on online dating for another few dates until it’s perfectly clear that we’re not a good match. This is such a common problem and it’s definitely not gender equal because girls tend to want to see things through before going back online. Probably because we know how totally exhausting the search for love is.
- Not reading the signs that we’re not into it. If you’ve been dating like it’s your job, and sometimes it can definitely feel like that, then you’ve probably gotten pretty good at showing a guy you’re not interested in a polite way without having to come right out and say it. Maybe you give a non-committal “sure” when the guy mentions seeing you again at the end of the night or you cut the date short after only one drink. So it can be rough when you do all that and then the guy still enthusiastically proclaims “I would definitely just love to see you again.” We know that when a first date ends with the guy saying “It was nice meeting you, take care” that he doesn’t want a second date, but that doesn’t always work when we say it.
- Blowing up our phone for a week straight. Nobody loves ghosting but sometimes it’s just the best way to deal with an awkward situation, especially when the guy sends you a post-date text that doesn’t even mention seeing you again. You don’t want to be the one boldly saying “I don’t think we have enough chemistry for a second date” when he’s just causally asking how you’re doing. Things get even worse when the guy just can’t take a hint and won’t stop texting you. We know that if a guy likes us, he’ll contact us, and it definitely goes both ways.
- Inviting us to something way in the future then never bringing it up again. Sometimes guys mention they’re going to a movie or a concert that’s two weeks away and say they want you to go. That makes it extra confusing when they text you after the date and you chat for a bit and then they not only don’t ask you out again, but they don’t even mention the event ever again either. Were they trying to just get your hopes up? Did they mean it in the moment and then realize you’re not that compatible after all? Who knows.
- Wanting you to hang out with their female best friend. I’m sorry, but it’s always a red flag when a guy has a super close female friend. You can pretend to be cool with it but it’s always suspicious at best and annoying at worst. So if a guy wants to introduce you to her after your first date, he either needs her approval or secretly wants to date her instead.
- Coming on way too strongly. It’s awesome and romantic (in a 2015 way) when a guy texts you when you get home from a date and says he wants to see you again. It’s still awesome when he texts the day after. It’s not awesome at all and actually borderline creepy when he texts you all the time. We’re talking morning, noon and night, and even past midnight when he knows you’re asleep. No girl wants to text that much. We’d much rather see you in person.
- Saying they want a second date then ignoring you. It’s always weird when a guy says he’d “love” to see you again and then you don’t hear from him. You figure since he said it, he means it, but when you decide to be brave and text him he either doesn’t answer or says he’s not interested. Confusing much?
- Waiting 48 hours to contact you. It’s not going to be a major love connection if you need a few days to wait and see how you feel about us. We pretty much know how we feel within the first five minutes of meeting you, and if it’s a match, that feeling should definitely be mutual.
