Most of us are never going to date a rock star, so we set our sights a bit lower and aim for the hot guy who plays in the local band. You may not get to rub shoulders with actual celebrities, but you still get the sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll, right? Not really. Here are 10 reasons you should never date a guy in a band:
- His ego will be huge. The very nature of being in a band means that you enjoy being on stage, getting lots of attention from adoring fans. He probably has a huge ego to begin with, but then all that attention will make his head even bigger. Not a lot of fun to be around, that’s for sure.
- He’ll put his bandmates first. Don’t expect a romantic trip away with the guy from the band, as they’ll have to play gigs every weekend. Even if there is the occasional free Saturday night, he’d much rather spend it going drinking with the boys than with you. If you’re lucky, you might get taken for a weekday meal to Burger King.
- There are always girls hanging around. It goes without saying that wherever there’s a band, there are going to be lots of girls hanging out. If you trust the guy 100 percent, then it shouldn’t be a problem, but even if you’re remotely insecure, seeing girls everywhere can mess with your head (and if he needs them to feed his ego, there’s a reason for it).
- Every weekend is the same. Imagine going to the same gig and hearing the same songs every weekend – it quickly becomes like Groundhog Day. Plus, he’ll be setting up his instrument, doing a soundcheck, handing out leaflets, speaking with promo guys – too busy to spend any of the evening with you. So the reality is, you’re standing in a corner or at the bar alone.
- He’ll never have any money. Being in a band doesn’t pay well unless you’re as big as Coldplay. Most bands in the local scene aren’t even paid for gigs, which sucks. Usually, they’re paid in free beer from the venue. Even if they manage to find somewhere to pay cash, then the profits are split between four or five band members, which ends up nothing more than a token payment. It’s not going to pay the bills.
- He’ll leave his stuff lying around everywhere. Drum kits, guitars, amps, and cables, endless lengths of cable everywhere… OK, so this isn’t really a dealbreaker, but it’s still pretty damn annoying, especially when you wander to the bathroom in the middle of the night and stub your toe on a piece of his kit.
- You’ll become the designated driver. He’s in the band, so he deserves a couple of beers after the gig, right? That means you’ll always end up the designated driver and have to transport him and his kit to and from gigs. Believe me, there’s nothing less fun than spending your Saturday evening getting lost on a country road, trying to find some remote village. Not only that, but you get to be a roadie too, and lift heavy amps from the back of the car/van into the venue. Great fun.
- He’ll drink too much. Free beer from the venue, free beer from fans, free drink everywhere!
- When the band breaks up, he’ll become an emotional wreck. Without the band, he’ll become depressed, whiny and clingy. It’s still all about him — his feelings, his life, and it’s probably your fault the band split up, and your fault that you don’t understand what he’s going through.
- You’ll lose your own friends. Because they’ll get bored coming to the same weekend every weekend, too.
