How Long Do Crushes Last? Here’s What The Experts Say

When you have a crush, it feels like you’re going to be head-over-heels forever, which is fun when there’s a chance of becoming something more. But a hopeless crush just feels like a never-ending burden. Depending on your actual prospects for a relationship, how you feel about your feelings for someone could be a blessing or a curse. So, how long do crushes last?

How long you can expect your crushes to last

You don’t want these torturous feelings to hang around forever, so how long do crushes last, and when can you expect to be free of them? There are lots of claims that if you have a crush for longer than four months, you’re in love, which isn’t necessarily true. Crushes can last much longer or shorter than four months. Psychologist Dr. Funke Baffour-Awuah tells Sweety High that crushes happen when you project ideal traits onto someone else. “Some studies have identified three types of love: lust, attraction, and attachment. Given those definitions, the attraction stage is essentially the clinical term for the more colloquial term of ‘crush,'” she said. If the feelings are not developed further, then the attraction is going to be short-lived. According to Dr. Funke, when a crush lasts longer than four months, it’s not a sign that the relationship will work; it’s just that your brain is producing hormones making you want to forge a connection with your crush.

How to make a move on your crush

1. Remember, they’re only human. It’s easy to put a crush on a pedestal and be terrified to approach them because they seem larger than life. As Dr. Funke said, we project ideal traits onto our crushes, so they’re just a typical person at the end of the day. There’s no need to be intimidated. They’re just like you.
2. Make your presence known. We’ve all had a crush on someone who doesn’t even know we exist and it sucks. The only way something can happen between you is if you make yourself known and put your best foot forward. Find an opportunity to introduce yourself and always say hi whenever you happen to bump into them. Follow them on social media and interact with their posts, but be careful not to be overbearing and make them uncomfortable.
3. Get talking. Find some common ground and bring it up in conversation. If you already know them or follow them on social media, you probably already have some idea of what they like. If you have a similar music taste, you can ask them about an artist’s recent release. Anything you have in common is a great place to start and could spark something bigger. We usually have crushes on people we relate to anyway, so there could be potential for building something that could last.
4. Drop some hints. If you don’t drop some hints, your crush might just think you’re being friendly. So be sure to compliment them and casually drop that you’re single and ready to mingle. Some low-key flirting is always good too. Make it clear that you’re interested in them on more than a platonic level but without being so forward that you’ll end up feeling embarrassed if they don’t feel the same.
5. Ask them out. If you’ve been flirting and they’ve reciprocated, they probably like you back or are open to getting to know your more. So, shoot your shot. Ask them to get together and see what happens. What do you have to lose?

How to get over your crush when it’s not going to happen

1. Allow yourself to mourn what didn’t happen. Sometimes we don’t end up with our crushes. Maybe they’re already in a relationship or just don’t feel that way about you. You’re not pathetic for feeling down about it. It’s perfectly natural to feel hurt. Let yourself mourn what couldn’t be.
2. Be patient. The crush won’t just evaporate because you’re sick of feeling that way. Don’t beat yourself up when they cross your mind or if you still blush around them. Give things time to grow and flow naturally. If it’s meant to be, there’s no time limit.
3. Stop looking at them. It’s harder to get over someone if you see them everywhere. Your crushes will last way longer if you’re bombarded with photos, Stories, and status updates of theirs on a daily basis. So, mute them on social media to stop yourself from lurking. This also means avoiding places you know they hang out at as best you can until you start to move on.
4. Have some me time. If your crush can’t pamper you, at least pamper yourself. I hated having crushes when I was younger because I felt like I stopped doing things for myself and wanted to do everything to impress my crush instead. So, this is an opportunity to rediscover yourself. Take yourself to an event you wanted to go to, or buy yourself something nice because you like it.
5. Let it out. You’re not doing yourself any favors by bottling your feelings up. Grab a coffee with some friends and tell them about how you feel. You can also try journaling if venting isn’t cathartic enough. You’d be surprised how helpful it can be just to let it out.
6. Put yourself out there. There are plenty of fish in the sea. The best way to take your mind off your crush is to meet new people. Love pops up when you least expect it; maybe you were supposed to get rejected by your crush because it was going to lead you to something better. At the very least, meeting new people is a confidence booster.
7. Know your worth. We can’t control our feelings or how long our crushes last. Just like you can’t control who you get a crush on, your crush can’t control whether they get feelings too. So, if they don’t like you back, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. We all have a type, after all. Not being someone’s type doesn’t mean you’re not attractive or that you don’t have worth.
8. Remember, crushes are only temporary. Crushes don’t last forever. While it’s hard now, the crush won’t matter in a few years’ time. You might not even remember you had a crush on that person in the first place, or you might look back at the whole ordeal and laugh. It’s not the end of the world, and it’s only a tiny dent in your overall life story.