I Know What I Bring To The Table In Relationships — Here’s What I Want In Return

I’ve spent many years creating a life I love and becoming the best possible version of myself. So many of my previous partners have tried to tear me down or make me feel unworthy, but I love myself too much to fall for that bullsh-t. I know exactly what I bring to the table in a relationship, but this isn’t a one-way street. I’ll treat anyone I’m with like royalty, but here’s what I want in return.

1. Respect This is a must. I don’t care if you don’t like a decision I made or an opinion I have on something. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to respect it. I won’t be belittled, condescended to, or talked to like trash. We’re all adults here and there’s no excuse for not keep things civil even when emotions are running high.
2. Direct communication I understand the impulse to brush issues under the carpet rather than confronting them head-on, but what’s that going to do for our relationship long term? Nothing but cause more drama. I’d rather we hash out any issues we have now to work through any misunderstandings or resolve any problems before they become unnecessarily bigger and more serious down the line. If you can’t communicate your thoughts and feelings like an adult and clam up at the first sign of trouble, I’m not the one for you. Clear communication is one of the best things I bring to the table and I need my partner to be on the same page.
3. A little effort Guys are all about going the extra mile when they’re trying to get me into bed, but so many of them start slacking the second they think they have me in their grips. That’s not going to fly. Relationships can’t survive long-term if both parties don’t bring a willingness to do the work to the table. I’m not saying I need to be wined and dined nightly, but I do want someone who actually acts like they give a sh-t about me and our relationship. It’s that simple.
4. Space I love being with my partner when I’m in a relationship, but I also have a life outside of it and I won’t neglect that for the sake of being with you. I’m happy to let you hang with your bros and do your own thing sometimes, and I don’t want drama when I want to go out with my girls or just want to hang out in the bedroom reading a book all day. I need someone who’s secure enough in himself not to take it personally when we’re not together.
5. Mindblowing orgasms There, I said it. Good sex is one of the things I bring to the table in a relationship. I’m experimental, open to new things, and eager to please, but I sure as hell am not going to be the one doing all the work. I want a guy who’s going to figure out what I like and what makes me tick and then spend the time to give it to me so that I feel so good, I can barely remember my own name. Sex isn’t all about orgasming, of course, but pleasure should be something we both enjoy, not just one of us.

1. A bit of adventure Life can get really boring when you get stuck in routine, and while you can’t do much about that in many ways — we all have to work and fulfill certain responsibilities in our lives — I’m looking for a guy who has a sense of adventure in him. I bring to the table my curiosity and spontaneity and I need a partner who’s just as willing as I am to try something new even if it’s scary or kinda weird. That keeps things fresh, and that’s what we need.
2. Trust I’ve never been the jealous type in relationships because I don’t see the point. If someone is going to cheat or betray you, they’re going to do it whether or not you’re sitting around at home internally freaking out about it. Instead, my ability to trust is one of the best qualities I bring to the table. Unless you give me a reason to be suspicious of you, I’m going to let you do your thing, and I need the same in return. Don’t quiz me on what guys were at the club when I went dancing with my friends. Don’t act weirdly macho around my male colleague when I said we’re just friends because that’s what I meant. Give me the benefit of the doubt or we won’t last.
3. Laughter I don’t think I need to really elaborate on this. A life without laughter is a boring one that I want no part of. I don’t want someone who takes himself too seriously or who can’t laugh at the more ridiculous moments in life. A sense of silliness and fun goes a long way, so if you’re super uptight or lack a sense of humor, I’ll pass.
4. Honesty I’ve definitely told little white lies in the past in order to avoid confrontation, but I eventually realized that was dumb and pointless. If I’m in an adult relationship, why am I handling my partner with kid gloves like they can’t handle the truth? Hit me with reality every single day. It might piss me off, hurt me, or make me upset, but I deserve honesty just as much as you do.
5. Thoughtfulness This is another thing I bring to the table in relationships that I feel is non-negotiable. I want someone who cares enough to offer little gestures to show me that I matter to them. Making my coffee in the morning when they know I’m in a rush, changing the sheets before I get home from work because they know I love nothing more than a fresh bed… these are the little things that don’t take too much effort but mean the world.
6. Affection Don’t just hold my hand or kiss me when you want to get laid. We should be able to have a cuddle on the couch, share a peck when we’re walking down the street, or have a hug in the kitchen while we’re cooking dinner together to express our affection for one another. That’s something I bring to the table — do you?