My Ex Called Me ‘Crazy’ For Doing These Totally Reasonable Things

Ladies, we all know men love to throw the “crazy” label around as an insult to women as a way to deflect from their own terrible behavior. I’m pretty used to it now and I don’t take it to heart because I realize it’s all about them and nothing about me. That being said, it does royally piss me off. The last guy I dated used to love to call me crazy for the most ridiculous reasons to the point that it was nearly laughable. Here are some of my so-called offenses that made me need to seek psychiatric treatment, apparently.

  1. I refused to wait on him hand and foot. This guy was clearly looking for a surrogate mother and I was not going to be it. He expected me to cook for him, clean his apartment (despite the fact that we didn’t live together and I rarely stayed over due to his state of filth), pick up his dry cleaning on my way over, and the list goes on and on. Because I wouldn’t do that, he would tell me I’m “crazy” if I think that was how things went and that I clearly don’t understand what it’s like being in a relationship. Yes, really.
  2. I expected him to put effort into the relationship. When I’m dating someone, I expect the dynamic to be pretty 50/50 most of the time. With this guy, it was more like 95/5. He didn’t seem to think he should have to lift a finger in the relationship and in addition to mothering him, I was also meant to carry the emotional load and do all the work to keep things afloat. When I told him outright that was unacceptable, I was suddenly “crazy” and “losing my sh-t for no reason.”
  3. I buy myself nice things because I work hard. I have an amazing career that I’ve worked hard for — six years of higher education, two years of interning, and a lot of late nights. I make good money and look after myself and I also like to treat myself to nice things I like because I can. The guy I was dating took major issue with that and would call me “crazy” if we were out shopping and I bought myself a $200 pair of boots or even an $80 pair of jeans. It was a waste of money, according to him. Never mind the fact that he was working a minimum wage job and spending his rent money on weed and video games…
  4. I value things in life besides sex. This is the one that really got me. Whenever I made it clear that sex isn’t the most important thing in my life and that I could actually go without it for a while without it ruining my life or anything, I was immediately written off as “crazy” and told I must have a problem because that’s just not a normal way to feel. Obviously, he was just angry because he wasn’t getting any.
  5. I froze my eggs in case I decide I want kids later. This is something I’ve always wanted to do and once I got a really good job, I decided to go for it. I’m not even sure I want to be a mom in the future, but I know that time isn’t really kind to women and I wanted that option there just in case. He thought it was “crazy” to pay to freeze my eggs because “if I wanted a baby, he could plant one in me in no time.” Tempting offer, but no thanks.
  1. I wash the bed sheets twice a week. I didn’t think this was all that weird. We all sweat and have oils in our skin and that gets in our bedsheets and especially on our pillowcases. Tossing my sheets and duvet cover in the washing machine twice a week has always been a regular part of my routine, but he thought I was “crazy” since apparently you should wait until you can basically snap your blankets over your knee before washing them… Disgusting.
  2. I called him out when he acted like an a–hole. I don’t suffer fools gladly, so when this guy would mess up, I’d tell him about it. It wasn’t all one-sided — I always welcomed (valid) criticism on his behalf as well because I actually have some sense of self-awareness and realize I’m not perfect. However, whenever I’d have a gripe with something he did, I was told I was being “crazy” and “oversensitive” and he would go back to what he was doing and shut me out.
  3. I told him I didn’t need him to be happy and I meant it. I don’t believe in needing another person to complete you in life. A relationship should be an addition to your life, like the cherry on top rather than the whole damn pie. The guy I was dating didn’t like that very much. He found it offensive that I didn’t need him and called me “crazy” because “everyone needs people.” I think he kinda missed the point.
  4. I dumped him when he wasn’t pulling his weight. This is what really made me “crazy” in his eyes. I eventually got so fed up with his unwillingness to change his ways or even hear me out that I decided to cut him loose. I value my sanity and my time way too much to stick around with someone who’s just not on my level. Of course, the breakup was all my fault and he should have broken up with me so much earlier since I was so psychotic. Okay, guy. Keep telling yourself that.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia