A Guy Reveals How You Can Get Him To Make A Move

If you find yourself being attracted to a guy who’s a little more shy and reserved, don’t expect things to progress as usual. The likelihood of him speaking up and pursuing you isn’t likely, at least not without a bit of nudging. Unfortunately, you can’t expect guys like this to make the first move. If you’d like to push the guy you’re after in the right direction, however, there are a few things you could do to help your chances.

  1. Send seriously flirty texts. You might think you’re making it obvious that you want him to make a move with your subtly flirty texts, but it might not be enough. You usually need to step up your level of flirtatiousness with a shy guy. I’m talking about some NSFW-type stuff. You have to make it crystal clear to him that you’re interested and want him to make a move.
  2. Get him talking about stuff he likes. The goal here is to make him relax and feel comfortable around you. For the most part, shy guys aren’t big talkers. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be so reluctant to socialize. But if you can get him talking about stuff he likes, he’ll start to come out of his shell and feel more at ease with you. When he senses that you like the real him, he’ll be a little more comfortable making a move if he likes you too.
  3. Tell him why you like him. Often, shyness and confidence are two sides of the same coin. Shy guys can sometimes suffer from a lack of self-esteem, especially when it comes to the ladies. This means that they’re not always convinced that you like them, which means they won’t make a move. As a shy guy myself, I can tell you that we have to be 100% sure or we won’t take that leap. Even if you think you’re being obvious, be clear that you like him and why you like him.
  4. Offer up plenty of eye contact and smiles. This may sound pretty basic, but you often have to go back to basics with guys who are a little more reserved. Keep in mind that part of the reason he’s shy is that maybe he doesn’t get a lot of attention from women. When you make an effort to make eye contact or smile at him, he’ll take notice. That will help make him more comfortable and convince him that you like him, making it easier to make a move.
  5. Get him alone. Just so we’re clear, this is the high risk/high reward approach. Shy guys tend to get nervous when you get them alone. At the same time, they also don’t like an audience, so there’s a chance that you can make him feel more relaxed and comfortable in a private setting. Unless you’re ready to put the moves on him, don’t try to come on too strong. Just try to put him at ease and make him comfortable being around you in a one-on-one setting.
  6. Lean in close. When you’re tired of waiting and ready for a slightly more aggressive approach, this is something you can try. In a way, it’s like you making the first move or at least begging him to make a move. The hope is that by invading his personal space he’ll be able to take the hint and do something.
  7. A serious hug. If a desperate lean-in doesn’t work, the next step is to just give him a hug. Unless he’s seriously shy and has issues with his personal space, no guy is going to reject a hug from someone he likes. The trick is that you have to put some feeling into it. Let’s be honest, a good hug can tell you everything about how a person feels about you. Don’t be so quick to let go and let the hug linger for a while and perhaps a shy guy will be convinced that you like him and make a move.
  8. Don’t play games. I can’t stress enough how important it is to not play games with a guy who’s shy and reserved. You can’t play hard to get with him because he’ll just assume that you don’t like him and give up. You can’t make him wonder or second guess himself because that will get you nowhere. When in doubt, just try the direct approach with shy guys and see where it gets you.
  9. Make the first move yourself. Honestly, if you like a guy, just make the first move yourself. Most guys actually like that, especially the shy ones. If you’re confident that he likes you back, go ahead and do something about it. If he likes you back, I promise that if you make the first move, he’ll make the second move, or at least the third move. Before you know it, you’ll have your happily ever after.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.