Ladies, you don’t own the market on insecurity. I guarantee you that the man in your life also feels insecure sometimes for a wide variety of reasons. Here are some of our biggest hangups:
- Not being good enough for you We may not show it but a lot of guys are insecure about being good enough for their girlfriends or wives. There’s always a little part of us that thinks you’ll go back to your ex or find someone better. Even some of the guys who appear confident on the outside have these fears. The thing is, if we’re in a committed relationship, we’re probably mad about you, and that makes us a little unsure about someone else coming along and taking you away from us.
- Being cheated on This one goes hand in hand with not always believing we’re good enough for you. A lot of us guys believe that you could sleep with just about any man you wanted to at any time. No one’s saying that you do that, but the thought that you could go out and sleep with anyone leaves us feeling a little insecure that it might actually happen. This is why it’s important not to compare us to other guys, especially your ex. It’ll just make us obsessed that you’re cheating on us.
- Not good enough in bed Yes, men can be neanderthals who like to brag to each other about being great in bed. However, for a lot of us, that’s just a front we put up to hide our insecurity. Most men are at least a little unsure if we’re pleasing our sexual partners to their satisfaction. This is also part of the reason why we like to brag when we get the slightest indication that we’ve done a good job between the sheets.
- How we look We may not spend as much time looking in the mirror as women (no offense, ladies), but men do get insecure about our looks sometimes. When it comes to things like gaining weight or losing our hair, there are genuine concerns about our appearance. This is why women should be a little sensitive about bringing up such things to the men in your lives. If you say the wrong thing or use the wrong tone, it can strike us in an area of deep insecurity.
- Our manliness Yes, I agree, it’s so stupid of men to get all bent out of shape about our “manliness,” but that doesn’t mean we don’t feel insecure about it sometimes. Sadly, most men have been programmed via our role models and popular culture to care about being tall, strong, and masculine. If that masculinity is threatened in any way, we start feeling insecure. Again, I agree that it’s stupid but that’s just the way it is.
- Not being complimented Ladies, I can’t tell you how much the man in your life needs to receive compliments and feel appreciated. In all aspects of our lives, we need positive reinforcement to know that we’re doing things the right way. If we don’t get it, we may start to feel insecure and question every little thing we do. Trust me when I say that’s not good for anybody.
- Not achieving big things career-wise Surely this is something women can relate to. We all want to be successful in whatever career we choose and we want to be able to make enough money to provide for ourselves and others. If things aren’t going well on that front, we start to feel insecure. Sometimes that insecurity can start to pop up in other parts of our lives.
- Being emotionally vulnerable These can relate back to our masculinity. Most men have been trained not to be too open with our emotions or vulnerable. Trying to do so can make us feel insecure. If we let down our defenses in front of a woman, it’s important that you recognize how difficult that has been for us. Otherwise, the insecurity that comes with being vulnerable can eat away at us and make us even more closed off than before.
- Not living up to our potential This can relate to anything from sex and relationships to our career and anything in between. If there is any suggestion that a man isn’t living up to expectations in any way, it can make us feel insecure. Think about it this way: men tend to be ultra-competitive, right? For us, not living up to our potential is a form of losing, and we don’t handle it well. When that happens, our insecurities come out.
- Having our actions questioned We men can be stubborn creatures. Honestly, that shouldn’t come as a surprise. Most of the time, we believe that whatever decision we make will be the right one. We can’t always deal with it if someone else has a different viewpoint. If we get angry when something we’ve done is questioned, it’s actually our insecurity coming out.
