A Guy Shares 10 Signs Your Ex Doesn’t Want You Back

After you end a long-term relationship, it’s only natural to spend a little bit of time wishing you could rekindle your romance. Of course, if your ex isn’t interested in getting back together, it’s best to know that so you can move on without getting your hopes up. Even if your heart wants to give it another chance, if your ex is showing some of these 10 signs, your head needs to know for sure that he doesn’t want you back.

  1. He encourages you to date other people. This seems like it might be a game but it’s probably not. If your ex is actively encouraging you to see other people, he wants you to move on. He doesn’t want you to hold out hope for a reunion because he has no intention of ever getting back together.
  2. He doesn’t text back. It doesn’t get any clearer than this. If he’s at least remotely interested in getting you back, he’ll keep the lines of communication open. How else is he going to stay on your radar and know if you’re still single? If that’s the case, he’ll remain in touch and always text back. If he refuses to respond to your messages, he’s not playing games. He’s sending a clear signal that it’s over for good.
  3. There’s no flirting. It’s hard for guys to resist flirting, especially with someone they used to flirt with all the time. But if you try flirting with an ex and he’s not sending you the same energy back, take that as a sign that it’s over. If he has no lingering feelings for you, it’ll be easy for him not to flirt back. If you fail to get a guy to lighten up and flirt with you, there’s no chance for a reunion.
  4. He brings your stuff back. Ah, the exchanging of possessions! This is always a clear sign that there will be no reconciliation following a breakup. In fairness, some guys use this as an excuse to see you and re-open the lines of communication, but more times than not, he’s doing this because he’s purging you from his life. He doesn’t want reminders of you in his home because he has no intention of ever getting back together with you.
  5. “It’s not you, it’s me.” Yes, this is a cliche breakup move, but it also signals that getting back together isn’t in the cards. He’ll use it in part to help spare your feelings, but he also wants to convince you the problem with the relationship is him. This means that he doesn’t want you to want to get back together. He’s looking for a clean break and is more than happy to take the blame.
  6. He gets serious with someone else. This one can be a little tricky to interpret. A guy could be open to getting back together even if he starts dating someone else. I wouldn’t assume that’s the case, but it could be a sign that he’s in denial. But when your ex gets serious with someone new, the ship has sailed on wanting to get you back. By that point, he’s completely moved on and forgotten about you, so you should probably do the same.
  7. He doesn’t want to be your friend. This is another example of a guy trying to make a clean break from a relationship. If there are unresolved feelings, he won’t be opposed to remaining friends just to keep you in his life. If he doesn’t want to be your friend, he’s completely done with you and there will be no reunion.
  8. His friends/family shun you. Breaking up doesn’t mean you can’t keep in touch with a guy’s friends or family. However, you know there’s no hope of a guy wanting you back when his friends and family cut ties with you. They’ve likely been told by your ex that it’s 100% over. Thus, they have no reason to stay in contact with you.
  9. You’ve been blocked. This could be him blocking your phone number or blocking you on social media. Either way, it’s a strong sign that he doesn’t want you back. When a guy does this, it means he has no interest in keeping in touch or keeping up with your life. It might hurt your feelings, but it’s a clear sign he doesn’t want you back, allowing you to move on as well.
  10. He’s still hurt. As long as a guy is hurting from a breakup, he won’t want to get back together. Usually, this happens if you cheated or did something else to prompt the breakup. Either way, hurt feelings will mean that he doesn’t want you back. To be fair, he might be tempted to get back together at some point. But deep down he doesn’t want to risk getting hurt again. Your ex will also know that it’s probably best for both of you not to get back together.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.