How To Get A Guy In A Relationship To Leave His Girlfriend For You, According To A Guy

Have you ever met someone you think would be perfect for you, only to find out he’s already taken? It can be a frustrating situation, but it doesn’t have to be. As a guy, I know that there are ways to subtly entice a guy to leave his girlfriend without making you look like the bad guy or like a “homewrecker.” I’m not saying it’ll be easy because it is a delicate situation, but if you’re determined to be with him, here are some tips.

  1. Don’t push too hard. In this situation, always keep in mind that the guy has to make the decision. He’s the one with the girlfriend and he has to decide to leave her. You don’t want to seduce him too hard or entrap him into being with you instead. You also don’t want to make yourself the “other woman” because that can get messy. The key is to hint without pushing too hard.
  2. Be different from her. Even if the situation is different from what you’re used to, you still just need to be yourself. You want the guy to want you the same as anybody else. That means you’re not trying to replace his girlfriend. Don’t try to be just like her or compare yourself to her. Remember that he’s not going to leave her if he’s happy, so assume that he’s at least a little unhappy and show him how you can be different than his current girlfriend and better for him.
  3. Don’t talk trash. You must resist the urge to talk trash about the guy’s current girlfriend. Granted, there’s a good chance that you won’t like her, but don’t try to fill his head with everything that’s wrong with her. Even if what you say is true, it’ll just make you seem childish and vindictive. Those aren’t attractive qualities, so even if you can push him away from his girlfriend, talking trash about his girlfriend won’t push him toward you.
  4. Give him space. As I said at the beginning, you have to let the guy make the decision to leave his girlfriend for you. That means giving him the space to make that choice. Of course, you want to get his attention, but you don’t want to be all over him. You need to get his attention and then ignore him just enough to get him thinking about you and give him time to realize that he misses you.
  5. Stay in his circle. You want a guy who’s in a relationship, you have to start by being his friend and being friends with his friends. That’s the best way to stay in his circle and make sure you’re on his radar. Keep in mind that you’re just looking for any excuse to be around him and spend time together. Being his friend is the perfect way to do that, giving you a chance to hint that you want to be something more than friends.
  6. Maintain eye contact. If a guy has a girlfriend, you can’t go overboard with how you flirt with him. But there’s no law against keeping eye contact with a guy. When you’re around him, you’ll want to look in his direction as much as possible, at least without being obvious. If you can’t be too flirty or always able to talk to him because of his girlfriend, eye contact is the best way to connect with him and get him to keep looking in your direction.
  7. Look good. This might sound obvious but it can’t be overlooked. Whether a guy has a girlfriend or not, he’ll always notice someone who he finds attractive. If you can grab his attention with the way you look, he’ll think about you when you’re not around. Needless to say, this is a huge part of getting a guy with a girlfriend to want you instead.
  8. Go deep. Most guys don’t just leave their girlfriends for a fling. Looking good is important, but you also have to go below the surface with a guy. Try talking to him about serious topics and show him that you’re a good person to talk to. Most guys look for this in a serious partner, so you have to make him comfortable talking to you if you want him to leave his girlfriend and start dating you.
  9. Break the touch barrier. Even if the guy seems to like you, he may not break the touch barrier if he has a girlfriend. At least he’ll be careful about doing so. But that doesn’t mean you can’t subtly show him a little affection, as long as you’re not too obvious about it. Remember, you’re not trying to make his girlfriend jealous or create trouble. But without being too obvious, you can give him a friendly hug or a touch on the shoulder to let him know that you’re a little more than a friend.
  10. Strongly hint at your feelings. Ultimately, you have to find a way to let the guy know how you feel without letting him know how you feel. Think of it as showing and not telling. Show him that you like him more than a friend and that you would be good for him. Remember, you don’t want to flat-out proposition him because that would be too obvious for a guy who has a girlfriend. Just find a subtle way of letting him know that you’d be interested in something more. But you have to let him come to the realization that he wants to leave his girlfriend for you.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.