A Guy Shares Signs He Actually Wants to Date You, Not Just Get in Your Pants

When it comes to dating, motives and intentions matter. Unfortunately, guys aren’t always upfront about they’re just after sex or whether they’re interested in something more. If you knew what his end game was, it would probably be easier to know how to proceed. If he doesn’t share his intentions with you, the trick is to look for signs that can tip his hand. If you notice any of these things happening, this guy wants to date you.

  1. He waits to make his move. Of course, if he only wants to sleep with you, he won’t hesitate to make a move. Most of the time, if he’s more of the patient type, he’ll be more into dating than random hookups. If he’s open to something long-term, then he’ll be in no rush to sleep with you. Guys like this also don’t have a lot of slick moves that can get you into bed right away.
  2. You see him during the day. Usually, he knows that if he sees you in the middle of the day, the date isn’t going to end in sex. Therefore, a guy who only wants to get into your pants will only want to see you at night. Frankly, the later he wants to see you, the more likely he only wants to get laid. Now, a guy who agrees to a lunch date and will see you in the middle of the day, he’s for real. He’s there because he wants to spend time with you and not just in the bedroom.
  3. Your dates are in public. If a guy can get away with only seeing you in private, he will. Guys who are eager to get you into bed know that this makes it easier to transition to fooling around. But dates out to dinner or the movies, while cliche, take time and effort. A guy who goes through the trouble to plan dates like this and go out in public isn’t only thinking about sex.
  4. Post-sex cuddling is a thing. A guy’s behavior right after sex can tell you a lot about how he feels. If he’s only after sex, he’ll have no interest in cuddling afterward. If he does want something more and would like to continue seeing you outside of the bedroom, there’s no doubt he’ll be up for cuddling if that’s what you want. Even if he doesn’t cuddle but engages in some fun and flirty post-sex bantering, it’s a good indication that a guy sees you as more than just a notch in his bedpost.
  5. He tells his parents about you. Meeting his parents is a good sign, of course, but if he mentions that he’s told his parents about you, that’s also a sign that he’s interested in dating you more seriously. I mean, most guys are in the habit of telling their parents about random hookups, right? Even if you haven’t met them yet, just being mentioned to them can be just as meaningful.
  6. He has a nervous energy around you. If he wants to date you, that’s because he cares about you. That means he has a reason to be nervous around you. Sometimes that will manifest as him being clumsy or shy. Of course, those are qualities you rarely find in a guy who just wants to get in your pants. Nervousness is a good sign, without a doubt.
  7. PDA is on the table. Okay, so don’t take this as an absolute sign one way or another. You should know that most guys aren’t that into PDA. That being said, if he’s willing to engage in some light hand-holding or a peck on the cheek with you while in public, he’s usually not after just sex. These light forms of affection in public are signs that he cares. He probably wouldn’t do this if wasn’t open to things getting more serious.
  8. He asks personal questions. A guy who just wants to get into your pants will rarely dig deep into personal questions. Frankly, he just doesn’t care enough to think about personal questions to ask you. He’ll keep things shallow and superficial and be more interested in complimenting you. If he’s willing to get deep with the conversation, he wants to get to know you better to see if you’d be a good match for something serious in the future.
  9. Kisses don’t always lead to sex. If a guy just wants to get into your pants, he’ll take any kiss and try to run with it. One who’s looking for something more will enjoy the intimacy of kissing. He’ll see it as forging a genuine connection with you rather than a chance to move things to the bedroom.
  10. He contacts you between dates. This is typically one of the best signs that a guy is moving the relationship past the stage where he’s only thinking about sex. If he just wants to hook up, he’ll contact you only when he wants to see you. You know he’s interested in more than that when he’ll contact you just to talk. Even if it’s just a quick text, he’ll remain in contact with you consistently, slowly trying to become a boyfriend-type figure in your life.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.