A Shy Girl’s Guide To Coming Out Of Your Shell

Being shy can really suck. You miss opportunities, you don’t enjoy things that other girls your age do, and you can’t talk to that cute guy that you’re pretty sure has been eyeing you up all night. But being shy isn’t necessarily something you have to live with inevitably. There are a few things you can do to coax yourself out of that very comfortable shell of yours.

  1. Practice conversations before you have them. And then, obviously, have them. Everyone practices conversations (especially ones that make them a little bit nervous) because it gives us a confidence boost.
  2. Master your power poses. Have you ever seen Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk on body language? If you haven’t, I recommend it. She shows you some power poses that actually give your body a chemical boost of testosterone that makes you more confident. Trust me, I’ve used it for interviews and I’ve gotten friends to start practicing it, too – it works.
  3. Set yourself a goal once a day and try to achieve it. Want to talk to someone new every day this week? Hope to be able to speak up at your next meeting? If it’s something that challenges you, then set it as a goal so that when you achieve it, you feel more confident and you’ll keep on trying!
  4. Be adventurous with the little things. Grabbing a new cover for your phone? Go with green instead of black. Trying on a new nail polish? Try out that neon yellow. Grabbing a coffee? I hear Starbucks’ new S’more Frappuccino is to die for.
  5. Get in front of the camera. You’re always the one behind the camera taking the photos because that way you get to experience all of the fun, without, well… being noticed. Get in front of the camera and start being a part of those memories, instead of apart from them.
  6. Own what makes you unique. Shy girls tend to, well, shy away from what makes the unique. But what makes you unique is what makes you so special, so try to own it! This’ll boost your confidence and, hopefully, you’ll meet some awesome people who really dig your unique you!
  7. Do one thing that frightens you every day. No, I don’t mean that you have to go bungee jumping or let thousands of cockroaches crawl over your body in the dark. What I mean is that you should do something small that makes you anxious. Hate sending emails? Send an extra one today. Dislike going to your favorite café at lunchtime because it’s busier then you’d like? Well, all the more reason to go!
  8. Try “easy” social engagements. The worst thing that an extrovert can say to a shy gal is “just go to more events!” Oh, yeah, I’ll get right on that. Realistically, you’ll do this for a weekend and be so traumatized by the intense socializing that you’ll become even more of a recluse in the upcoming months just so you can feel like a functioning human being. Instead, try keep to the easy social engagements, like house parties with mostly familiar friends or getting coffee with some old pals on the weekend.
  9. Learn a joke, and then use it! Jokes are terrifying to the shy girl. They literally put you at the very focal point of a group, with so many eyes at you that you can’t help but go red. And then, of course, someone points it out. I know, it’s a pain. But if you learn a joke and practice it until you have it down to a tee, it can actually be a huge confidence booster in terms of getting comfortable with talking in front of groups.
  10. Try double dating with a bestie. Does dating terrify you? I hear ya. Sometimes to get back into the dating scene, you need some kind of comfort blanket, and what makes you more comfortable than your bestie?
  11. Make an effort to branch out with some close friends. Always wanted to learn how to paint? Try a class! Always wanted to kayak? Go for a trip! Trying new things is invigorating and can inspire you to step out of your comfort zone. You don’t have to break the bank, either – there are plenty of ways to live life to the fullest on a budget!
  12. Shake things up with your style. Get some bangs or dye your hair in an ombre style! Try shorts instead of skirts, skinny jeans instead of bootlegs, blouses instead of t-shirts! Get a hat. Get sunglasses. Grab a pair of awesome army boots. Whatever style that you’ve been eyeing up, but never had the nerve to go for, is what you should try and veer towards!
Sarah is a full-time content marketer, part-time freelancer. She’s a serial hobbyist (which just means that she does a lot of random things, but none of them particularly well). Her real talent lies in her ability to consume copious amounts of wine, whilst discussing feminism and reading A Song of Ice and Fire for the 8th time... All while saving puppies from burning houses, of course. You can see more of her work here, or pop over to Twitter and say “‘ello ‘ello” @daughterdipstik