A Woman’s Guide To Guy Code 101

You’re probably familiar with Bro Code, but I have a feeling that not all women truly understand what it means. In short, it’s a set of rules and principles for men to abide by for harmonious living—and naturally, women are mentioned frequently. Here’s what you need to know about our laws.

  1. Bros before hoes. This is one of the main tenants of Guy Code. While most people have heard of it, it warrants some explanation. Under this rule, guys are inherently pressured to always choose their friends over their girlfriend in just about any situation. As with any rules, there are always exceptions, especially since not all guys will abide by this. However, unless you’re in a serious relationship with a guy, there’s always a chance that the dude you’re seeing will take the side of his friends over you or choose to hang out with them rather than spend time with you.
  2. We don’t share personal texts with friends. This is actually good news for you ladies. If you send us texts that are super personal, we pledge not to share that amongst our friends. Unfortunately, this may not apply to guys who are immature for their age or are super selfish. But for the most part, you shouldn’t worry about us telling the world anything personal that you text us.
  3. We won’t make a move on our friend’s girlfriend. Even if you think your boyfriend’s friend has the hots for you, don’t expect him to make a move. A big part of bros before hoes is not going after your buddy’s girl no matter how much you want her. Even if you break up with him, a guy won’t go after his friend’s ex-girlfriend without at least getting permission.
  4. We’ll tell on you if you cheated on our friend. Sometimes being loyal means being a tattletale. If we know for certain, or even if we strongly suspect, that you cheated on one of our friends, we’re going to let him know. You can beg us all you want or even try to bribe us, but we’re not going to let you get away with cheating on a friend. That’s basic Bro Code.
  5. We don’t know where your boyfriend is. While we will tattle on you if you cheat, we won’t do the same with our friend. If you think your boyfriend is with someone else or can’t get a hold of him, don’t ask one of his friends because we don’t know. Of course, there’s a good chance that one of us does know. However, you won’t get a word out of any of us. Guy Code dictates that when your buddy’s girlfriend asks suspicious questions, you don’t know anything. Sorry, ladies.
  6. We will back up any story. This isn’t just a joke from How I Met Your Mother, guys will always say “yes” and backup anything our buddy says while trying to impress a girl. It doesn’t matter how mad a lie it is, a good wingman will always do anything he can to help out. If a guy tells you a weird story or has an unusual brag, asking his friend for confirmation isn’t going to tell you the whole story. Sadly, in this kind of situation, you’re on your own.
  7. We’ll try to stop our friends from cheating on you. Yes, this may be a little hypocritical of us because we’ll lie to you about where your boyfriend is, but we will try to stop him from cheating on you. Obviously, there’s no guarantee we’ll be successful, but if one of our buddies is tempted to cheat on his girlfriend, especially if it’s just a silly, drunken mistake, we’ll try to talk him out of it. We’re not so much looking out for you as much as we don’t want our friend to make a foolish mistake that he might regret later. In any event, it’s important that you ladies know we’re trying to stop our friend from cheating on you.
  8. Guys with girlfriends are simply wingmen. Ladies, we know you hate it when your boyfriend hits the club with his friends without you, but I assure you that he’s only going so he can serve as a wingman for his friends. You may assume he’s out there cheating on you, but there’s a good chance that’s not the case at all. Guy Code dictates that we help our friends by serving as their wingman. Please, stop worrying every time your BF goes somewhere without you. He’s simply abiding by the Bro Code.
  9. If we ask you out, we’ll pay. You may not know this, but Guy Code is a little old-fashioned. Thus, it states that if a guy asks a lady on a date, he will pay for the date. That’s just how we roll. I’ll admit this is a little antiquated, but so is Guy Code. You can try to resist if you want and split the check, which is cool too. Still, any self-respecting guy still expects to when he asks a woman on a date.
Bryan Zarpentine is a freelance writer and editor whose work can be seen in many forms throughout the Information Superhighway.