Absolutely Insane Thoughts You Have After A Good First Date

It’s no secret that first dates have the potential to be the absolute worst. They can either end with the guy ghosting, or with you desperately trying to escape. They can also end in a fulfilling relationship and even marriage, but after your fair share of failed ones that seems less than likely. While it makes you feel like a mad person, a good first date will leave with you more questions than answers. You’ll be left obsessing over the dude, over whether you drank too much (probably yes), and then wondering whether or not he’ll text. You won’t be sitting by the phone because it travels everywhere with you, but every time it buzzes you’ll peek at it immediately, and then immediately resent your friend who’s texting you about brunch plans because it’s not your future boyf. If the date’s not a complete and total failure, here are the 8 thoughts you’ll have.

  1. Will he like your friends? If you don’t immediately consider whether or not he’d fit in with your homies, you’re not doing it right. It’s less creepy than considering what your wedding pictures will look like, but more creepy than casually seeing how everything goes without wondering if he’ll love your buddies.
  2. What would your parents think? If you have serious daddy issues, then you’re just looking for someone who will completely anger your father. If you’re getting up there in years, then you’ll definitely consider whether or not he’s anything to write (see also: text) home about.
  3. I wonder what he watches on Netflix… If you don’t share an affinity for watching, you have no future together. It’s science.
  4. What will other people think when you become Facebook official? If he won’t make all of your exes feel completely insecure about their entire lives, he’s obviously not worth it. If you don’t at least consider how solid your ‘gram game will be, he’s not the one.
  5. What will your kids look like? I mean, you’re not going as far as to as combine your faces on the internet and make a smooshed up child version of you, but you’ll at least consider what kind of nougats this dude will create.
  6. Are his exes over? In an age of eternally swiping right, it seems like everyone has some kind of side piece, and you can’t help but wonder if you’re it. A quick perusal of all his online activity should show you if he’s seeing someone, but you can never now how many other girls he’s “talking to” regularly.
  7. Will he ever text? Suddenly, you feel like you’re in middle school again, just waiting for that AIM ping from the guy you like. Your phone is at full volume and never leaves your side, because you never know when he’ll want to tell you that you’re the one (probably a year from now, but here’s to hoping).
  8. Maybe he’s dead… If you don’t hear from him in 24 hours with a “I had a great time!” text, you start to panic and ask every friend you have what you did wrong. If Wednesday rolls around and you haven’t gotten a mid-week investment text that guarantees he can at least see you over the weekend, you start wondering (read: hoping) that something horrible happened to him that’s preventing him from texting.
Margaret is a freelance writer who covers pop culture and fashion in New York City and currently writes for Page Six's Style section. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, xoJane, and Racked. She tweets about her crippling caffeine addiction and teen TV obsession here: @margaretabrams