We love to hate on guys for being players, but really we should be learning a thing or two from them. Dating shouldn’t be a race to get into a relationship, but a time to have fun and explore the world until you meet someone you’re serious about — and dating multiple men is the only way to do that.
You change your definition of dating. Gone are feelings of pressure and questions of “What are we?” Dating more than one guy sets a clear standard that you’re not going to settle down without taking the time to really get to know someone. Dating stops being this anxiety-producing stage of a relationship where you’re constantly worrying about messing things up and becomes a phase of your life that you can actually enjoy.
You stop expecting a relationship. The more men you see, the more aware you are that they’re not all going to be your boyfriend someday. With that pressure gone, you can really see a guy for who he is, and you realize very quickly whether this will be just a fling or if it has the potential for more.
You don’t get prematurely attached. So much of dating is girls complaining about not being able to find a guy. So when we do finally find one, we hold on to him with all we’ve got despite the fact that he might not even be that good of a catch. When you’re seeing three or five guys, you’re not so worried about losing one.
You have more fun. We can get too caught up in wanting the ultimate romance that we forget to have a good time — which is all you should ever expect from someone early on. Having other options helps you relax a little bit and let your guard down. You can be silly and weird without a fear of the guy leaving because if he does, it’s on the next one.
You open yourself up to more experiences. Dating different guys means getting a taste of different lifestyles. Forget about your “type” and get to know anyone who sparks your interest. You could end up going snowboarding or drag racing or whatever weird thing the guy is into. As long as it’s decently safe and mostly legal, it’s more fun to say yes.
You can set your own rules for intimacy. Despite what some judgey people may believe, you don’t have to sleep with every guy you go on a date with. You know yourself and what you’re comfortable with more than anyone, so decide in advance what you will and won’t do — and more importantly, the exceptions when it comes to things you won’t do — and stick to it.
You get better at dating and meeting people. Like most awkward things in life, dating is a skill that needs to be practiced consistently. If you’ve been out of the game for awhile, it’s gonna be weird at first. But the more you do it, and the more different kinds of people you do it with, the better you’ll get — and when you do finally meet someone who stands out from the crowd, you’ll be charming as hell.
You feel more in control of your love life. The worst feeling known to man (or woman) is feeling like the one who cares more. Nobody likes being the one waiting at home for the guy to call while he’s out at a bar with his friends. Dating multiple guys will really take over your social life, so you’ll spend more time having fun with your life than worrying about his.
You don’t get all wigged out over guys you barely know. I can’t tell you how many eye rolls I’ve gotten from my friends when I call them all panicked because I think this guy that I went out with twice isn’t into me anymore. If you don’t know his middle name, he’s probably not important enough to lose sleep over yet. By having multiple apples of your eye to distract you, you really won’t notice if one of them gets distant.
You make more conscious decisions when it comes to getting serious. If a guy does start dropping hints about wanting to be more exclusive, you have the right state of mind to make a decision. You’re not all emotionally invested yet. You can really sit back and think if this is the kind of man you could see yourself with or not.
You get a better sense of what you want. Nothing will make you more sure of what you want than figuring out what you don’t. If you keep dating the same kinds of dudes over and over again, you’ll never learn anything about yourself and what makes you happy in a relationship. Dating multiple men is a selfish way to date, but it’s the best way to have fun while figuring out the kind of person you want to be with.
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