I’m In Absolutely No Rush To Change My Single Status

It seems like if you’re not actively looking for love, everyone assumes that you’re scared of it. I’m sure that’s true for some people, but in my case, the reason I’m still voluntarily single is because I simply have no urge to find love. It might sound crazy, but this is why I’m perfectly happy living a while longer without my Prince Charming:

  1. It’s a lot of responsibility. Being in a loving relationship is hard work, and honestly, I’m lazy. You have to really make time and effort for the other person, and I don’t think I’m ready to take all of that on just yet. I have enough going on in my life, and the last thing I need is to add another person’s wants and needs to the mix.
  2. I need my alone time. Sometimes (okay, most of the time), I just want to chill out and not have anyone filling up my inbox or asking to hang out. My free time is ideally spent immersed in a book or mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. When you’re in love with someone, that “alone time” tends to be taken up by someone else who’s intent on spending time with you. I know that’s kind of the point of being in a relationship, but I’m just not about it at this point in my life.
  3. I really enjoy the single life. There are lots of people out there who just don’t enjoy riding solo, but I can’t get enough of it. I’m more than happy doing my own thing without anyone else’s influence, and actively looking to fall in love with someone would really get in the way of my single-girl goals. I might be ready to try to find love in the future, but I’m good for now.
  4. I’m not crazy about commitment. The idea of being tied down to anything — whether it’s a person, an apartment, or even Friday night plans — isn’t exactly appealing to me. But when you’re in love with someone, you’re supposed to want to commit to them. Personally, I’d rather just stick to bouncing from casual relationship to casual relationship instead of holding myself to one person in the name of love.
  5. It turns me into a weird version of myself. I’m a strong, independent woman, but when I fall in love, my brain goes a little nuts. I get more jealous and less “chill” about things, and I don’t like that at all. I feel like I need to grow up a bit and work on myself before I jump into another relationship and risk losing myself again.
  6. I don’t have time. Honestly, my career and hobbies are the most important things occupying my life at the moment. I’m a busy gal, and I simply don’t have time for the kind of time a truly loving relationship requires. Falling in love would requires sacrificing some of the things that currently take up space in my schedule, and right now, I’m not willing to give up any of that.
  7. I’m selfish. There — I said it. I really enjoy only having to focus on myself for the time being, and while I might be willing to give some of that attention and affection to someone else in the future, I’m not willing to “spread the love” just yet. I’m having fun spoiling myself and doing what I want to do, so if true love is on the horizon, I’d rather it wait just a while longer before coming into my life.
  8. I’m a pessimist. Some people find it easy to envision a fairy tale ending to their love story, but I’m not one of them. My past has taught me that even true love can come crashing down, and for me, the risk isn’t worth the reward. It’s just a lot of work to go through only to watch it all come down to nothing, and I have to be in the right state of mind to be willing to deal with it all again.
  9. I’m not willing to put forth the effort. Even the best relationships go through some rocky times, and at the moment, I’m not up for sifting through all the dirt just to get to the gold. Maybe in a few years I’ll be willing to give my everything to make my own love story a reality, but the way things are right now, I’m perfectly happy coasting along without having to worry about fighting over who got crumbs on the bed.
  10. I have to sort out my own stuff first. I’m spending my single time working on becoming a better person, and I’m self-aware enough to know that it’s going to take a lot of time and work. When I do eventually fall in love again, I want to make sure I’m the best partner possible, and that’s not going to happen if I’m not the best individual person I can be. It’s not going to happen overnight, but it’ll be worth it when I’m truly ready to find love again.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.