There’s a constant debate over how much PDA is too much and what it says about a couple. I used to think I hated when people did it because I think intimacy should be left for the bedroom, but I finally realized the real reason I don’t like seeing it: I’m jealous.
PDA has always been a rarity in my current relationship. It’s not that I want to be making out on street corners or anything, but my current partner has never even been into so much as holding my hand when we’re out and about or giving me a peck on the cheek. It’s never been a big deal but it would’ve been nice.
What does PDA mean about a couple’s connection? It can simply mean that the couple can’t keep their hands off each other because they’re so infatuated. They might want to show off the strength of their relationship too. However, PDA can also be fake. The couple might be trying to subconsciously prove to others that they’re happy when intimacy may actually be lacking behind closed doors. Other motivations exist as well, like making others jealous for example.
I get why everyone’s opinions are divided on PDA. What’s considered appropriate varies significantly depending on the culture and also between individuals. Some might think any form of PDA is unacceptable while others love it. Personally, I hate it. I used to think it was because I think it’s gross and I just don’t want to see it. Then I realized there was more to it than that.
I’m secretly jealous of couples who engage in lots of PDA. I have a friend who recently got into a new relationship. Every time I see her with her boyfriend, they can’t keep their hands off each other no matter who’s around. It grosses me out a little and is embarrassing to watch and I really wish they’d stop doing it. It makes me uncomfortable because sometimes I wish I had that too.
My partner has never been one for PDA. Even when we first started dating, my significant other didn’t like it when I tried to show affection for him in public. Anything more than holding hands and a quick peck was a no-go. He thinks it’s tacky and immature, which I agree with to an extent. We’ve been together for years and I know he loves me, but sometimes I wish he were more like my friend’s boyfriend.
Sometimes it makes me think he doesn’t care to show off his love for me. Once in a while, I have thoughts that maybe he doesn’t care enough if he doesn’t want to show affection for me in public. I wonder if he were with someone else if he’d be into PDA then, even though I know that’s a dumb thought. He’s told me why he doesn’t like it many times, and I do get it. But I can’t help feeling slighted sometimes when I see other couples happily engaging in PDA.
The problem is my insecurities. The reason I’d like more PDA is that I want that reassurance that I’m his, but deep down I realize I’m being insecure. If I really think about it, I know it’s actually a good thing that he doesn’t feel the need to prove he loves me to others because it shows he’s not a possessive or jealous person. He doesn’t dislike PDA to hurt me—it’s just the way he is.
PDA or no PDA—it really doesn’t matter. When I see other couples all over each other, my doubts and insecurities resurface occasionally but I get over it quickly because I shouldn’t care what others are doing. There’s really no reason to be jealous of other couples because you never know what’s going on behind closed doors anyway. They could seem like the perfect couple, but it might be a lie. Focusing on my own relationship is way more productive.
Happy relationships don’t have to involve lots of PDA. Even though there’s not much PDA between my partner and me, we still have a great relationship. Comparing our relationship to others is pointless because no one is the same, and what works for one couple might not work for another. I’m definitely going to try to remember that next time I get jealous of a couple sucking face in front of me.