He Acted Like A Good Guy, But When We Got Together I Realized He Was Just Playing A Part

I thought I was finally getting with Mr. Right. I was dating a good guy—or so I thought. He seemed like total boyfriend material, but once we were officially together, it turned out he was anything but.

  1. He just wanted to know he could get the girl. He didn’t worry about keeping me once he had me, though. He worked so hard but in the end, I realized it was all just a game. He liked the chase and nothing more. He could put in the work to get me to fall for him but once I did, he was over trying to impress me. He had my heart and he knew it, so the guy who acted like Prince Charming started to walk all over me.
  2. Good guys don’t have wandering eyes. He was always looking for someone better while pretending like I was the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. We planned out our future but none of it ever came true. He was constantly comparing me to every girl he met while I believed in loving the one you’re with. He acted like a relationship guy when deep down he was just looking for the next best thing.
  3. He put on a show for everyone. He cared so much about what everyone else thought. In front of other people he’d play the doting boyfriend but when we were alone, all hell broke loose. He wanted to convince everyone that he was this amazing guy without actually doing any of the work. It was like he was setting things up so when we ended, he could still look like Prince Charming.
  4. Good guys don’t act single when they’re with their friends. With me, he acted like we were forever. When he was with his friends, though, he was obsessed with being “one of the boys.” If I complained, he turned on me. I was the nagging girlfriend while he got to play around like just another single guy. Good guys don’t trash their girls when they’re with their friends and they definitely don’t act like their girlfriends are nonexistent.
  5. He always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. Instead of building me up, he tore me down. In front of other people he was heavy on the compliments, but alone I was overloaded with complaints. It felt like I couldn’t do anything right and like I would never be the girl he wanted me to be. He wanted to change me into someone I wasn’t instead of seeing me for the amazing woman that I am.
  6. Good guys make time for the women in their lives. He was constantly too busy to see or even talk to me despite the fact that he could make time for plenty of other things and people. In the beginning, he wanted to spend all his time with me but eventually, me asking him to spend quality time together seemed like I was simply asking too much. While I think time with the person you love should be a blessing, he acted like it was a chore.
  7. He wanted me to be the “cool” girl. Just like he always wanted to be the “good guy.” It was like he just expected me to be okay with him being a terrible boyfriend. If I had a grievance about anything, he’d say, “Don’t be that girl.” He thought that I was only worth having around if I played by his rules and that meant he was a boyfriend only when he wanted to be. Asking for anything more just wasn’t “cool.”
  8. Good guys are actually there for you when you need them. Whenever he was sad, lonely, angry, happy, or anything in between, I was always there for him. He could count on me but I could never lean on him. When I needed someone, I had to turn to my friends and family while my boyfriend was nowhere to be found. If I had problems, I was a problem to him. At the end of the day, it felt like he just wanted my life to be perfect because he just couldn’t be bothered.
  9. He wanted the relationship without having to make an effort. It was like he thought the success of our relationship was completely up to me. On the outside, he made it look like he was the perfect boyfriend but when it was just the two of us, he didn’t even care enough to try. I put everything I had into our relationship and he pretended to give me all the love I could ever ask for, but really, all he did was take, take, take, and gave nothing in return.
  10. Good guys always make a woman feel appreciated. He did that in the beginning but eventually, I just started to feel like a burden. He was willing to make everything else in his life a priority except for me. I felt so lucky to have him but he never made it seem like he felt lucky to be with me. I tried my best to be a damn good girlfriend, but all my efforts went unnoticed.
  11. He made me feel replaceable. I just wanted him to love me the way I deserved, but he made me feel like nothing special. He often talked about how he thought that people could be just as happy with someone else and that there were multiple right people for any one person. I believed in “The One,” but he made it clear that I was just one of many.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.