It can be tough to admit that someone you really care about is just not that into you. You just keep hoping for things to get better, waiting for some small act of tenderness that you can latch on to as proof that it was meant to be, but it never comes. It’s time to stop dreaming and get a move on with your life.
Actions speak louder than words. No matter how much you want this guy to be “The One,” you should listen to the feeling in your gut that tells you it’s impossible for him to care about you and still act as if he’s completely indifferent. The way he behaves is a clear indication of his feelings for you. If he doesn’t make you feel loved, it’s because he doesn’t love you. He simply doesn’t care about you the way you imagine he does, so it’s best to break things off now and carry on with your life.
You can’t magically make someone love you. We tend to think that we can love someone into loving us back. The truth is there’s nothing you can say or do, no magic wand that you can wave in the air that will change the affections of someone who’s just not into you. If he likes you on some level, even if he’s sure how much and what it means, he’s going to show it. He’ll treat you like a woman he’s interested in. You can try harder, crack the best jokes, do everything he wants in bed, be the most perfect version of yourself, but if he doesn’t have feelings for you, that’s not going to change anything.
The longer you hang around, the worse you’re going to feel. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back can land a soul-crushing blow to your self-esteem, and the longer it goes on, the more you’re going to hate yourself. You’re going to feel like a fool a lot of the time, like you’re being used. Why give your all to someone who can’t be bothered to give anything back? It’s only going to lead to a world of pain if you don’t let it go and walk away.
It takes two to tango. Healthy relationships are made of two people who genuinely care about each other and about making their partner happy. If you’re putting in more than you’re getting back, something is wrong. Even if he tells you otherwise, if his actions show that he doesn’t consider you special or that very little about you interests him, you need to move on. You’re just wasting your time.
Love shouldn’t always feel like hard work. You can’t be the only person in the relationship always making an effort. You shouldn’t have to fight for every scrap of affection he throws your way. If you keep trying to pour all your love into him and he keeps acting like he doesn’t care, you’re going to lose yourself. You’ll feel like you’re not good enough, like this is the love you deserve. Pain does that to people, so avoid that trap.
It’s not your fault he doesn’t care. It’s easy to blame yourself for the things others do to you, to feel like you’re responsible somehow. You can tell yourself that he doesn’t love you because there’s something you’re not doing, like you’re the problem and not him. These are all classic signs that things have gotten really toxic and you need to get out. Remember, it’s not your fault he can’t see how wonderful you are.
It might take a while, but you’ll get over it. It’s not easy letting go of someone you actually like, but you have to do it. Once you decide to keep it moving, things are going to become clearer. You’re going to see his flaws for what they are, and in a few months you’ll look back and realize he wasn’t worth all that stress. There’s plenty of love in your future—you just need to get there and be open to it.
Reciprocate the energy. It’s not fair to yourself to keep making him a priority when he has clear shown that you’re not his. Take charge of the narrative. Give as much as you’re given and nothing more. If he can live without you, you can live without him too. Act with this knowledge in mind. So he doesn’t care about you? Decide not to give a crap about him too.
As cliche as it sounds, you deserve better. Don’t settle because you’re scared of being lonely or can’t imagine going through this again with someone else. You’ll find someone who cares about you and shows that he gives AF. You deserve to be happy, to know you’re loved in a way that’s full and wonderful. You deserve to feel like you’re walking on air, and if you don’t move on from this guy, you’ll always feel like you’re being suffocated.
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