Are There Actually People Out There Who Enjoy Dating? I Can’t Take It Anymore

When you’re single AF, you probably can’t even remember what being in love felt like, let alone what it was like to go on a decent date. You try to put yourself out there just in case Mr. Right finally decides to waltz into your life, but instead, all you tend to find is disappointment. Turns out, the worst part of dating is the act of dating itself — here’s why:

  1. You don’t know what’s a waste of time. It’s impossible to know which guys are worth spending your time on and which ones are going to be nothing but another disappointment. You keep hoping that you’ll eventually learn to tell the difference and it never happens. Dudes you think you’ve hit it off with end up either not feeling the same or outright ghosting, while the ones you’re sure aren’t interested are the ones who actually follow up (but still aren’t right). Ugh.
  2. When you like a guy, you can’t let him go. Or at least that’s how it feels. You’re totally desperate to keep this new guy in your life. You really like him and haven’t been interested in someone in so long, you feel like you need to do everything within your power to keep him. You’re scared of losing him before you even really have him because you don’t want to think that you will never have love again.
  3. You hate the thought of going on any more first dates. If things don’t work out with your new love interest, then you know it’s right back to the drawing board (AKA right back to going on more awful first dates). You’re afraid of returning to your endless cycle and wonder why you just can’t catch a break and meet someone it sticks with, even for a little while.
  4. You don’t know how to act. You’ve been single for so long, you can no longer tell the difference between being desperate and being into someone. If you text him first, will he run away or will he think that’s normal? Should you admit your feelings or keep them close to your chest? You have no clue how to act and it starts to really freak you out sometimes.
  5. You wonder what’s real and what’s in your head. Do you really like this guy or do you just like him more than the last few guys you dated? You’re not sure if you’re tired of being alone and just want to be in a relationship and feel normal again or if your feelings are totally real. It can be tough to figure it out and you hate not knowing where you really stand.
  6. You want things to go as smoothly as possible. You get that nothing is without flaws and that your new relationship won’t be, either. You still stress out over minor issues, like when your new guy has to reschedule a date or when your first sleepover is a bit awkward. You’re scared that when things aren’t picture perfect, your new love is going to disappear.
  7. You worry that you won’t measure up. When you’re single AF, you’re so used to being on your own, it’s like you’ve forgotten how to deal with people. Sure, you still have a social life, but you live life on your own terms and make decisions only for you. When you’re finally on the verge of falling for someone, you wonder if you’ve somehow become undateable thanks to all the time you’ve spent alone.
  8. You can’t handle the thought of rejection. Back in your happily single days, you had no issue with moving on from a bad date or being ghosted. You had zero fear of rejection because you were totally cool with letting whatever was meant to happen actually happen. You loved your life as is and any guy that you met was just a bonus. Now you’re more afraid of rejection than anything else because now it feels like you’re going to basically die if things don’t work out with this guy.
  9. You’re nervous 24/7. You jump out of your skin every time you get a new text message. You constantly wait for the other shoe to drop because if things are going well, it can’t possibly last. You feel like you can’t even breathe or think. You’re nervous most of the time because you’re scared that things aren’t going to work out and it seriously sucks.
  10. You hate small talk. It’s no secret that small talk is always going to be awkward and unfortunately for you, this is pretty much what dating is all about. You can’t skip the basics and suddenly have a deep, philosophical chat about what really matters in life. You hate how bored you get on every single first date since you have to keep having the same conversations.
  11. You struggle to keep trying. The thing about dating is that when you fail — when you go on another awful date, or when you end up in another almost relationship — you have to keep trying. It’s the only way to succeed. You’re never going to get used to that, but if you’re ever going to find love, you have to rise above the horrors of dating and keep going.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.