This Is The Age That Men Start Wanting Real Relationships, According To Experts

I know we’re all wondering what’s going on in men’s heads, especially when it comes to whether or not they want to get serious. Thankfully, Elite Daily talked to some dating experts to get the scoop on what they think. They uncovered the ages that are prime for men to start wanting real relationships—here’s what they found.

  1. It seems men want to hold off on commitment longer than women. We hear stories all the time about men who don’t want to settle down just yet. They’re waiting to get serious and instead they just want something casual. Women are constantly sharing these stories, so it makes anecdotal sense that men would want to settle down later. Duh.
  2. Of course, we can’t pin down rules for a whole gender. Sure, there’s anecdotal evidence that’s helping draw these conclusions, but we can’t say anything for sure about an entire gender. Like, we can’t point at any man on the street and say, “You’ll be ready to be in a serious relationship by this certain time.” There are always going to be exceptions to the rule as well as people who fit nowhere near what’s being said. Regardless, it’s an interesting idea.
  3. The sweet spot is late 20s to early 30s. Elite Daily reached out to dating experts Michal Naisteter and Eric Resnik to find out the answer to the question of when men want to settle down. Naisteter, of the “Three Day Rule,” said that he sees men start to want to settle right around age 28. However, he added that it’s hard to pin down the exact age because it can be all over the board. Resnik said men are ready to settle down in their early to mid-30s.
  4. Female brains mature quicker. According to Elite Daily, “The belief that men and women of the same age are often mismatched when it comes to relationship readiness could partially be due to the fact that typically, female brains mature quicker than male brains, and maturity is a crucial part of being in a healthy, balanced relationship.” Hey, they confirmed something we all already kind of knew.
  5. Women start thinking about their biology. One idea is that women have to think about settling down soon because they’re trying to beat their biological clocks. They’ve got to start thinking about whether or not they want to have a family much sooner than men do. Plus, the responsibility of being fertile is on them. It’s really a lot of responsibility to carry.
  6. There’s a trend of younger men getting more serious. Before we lose any and all hope for younger ages, Resnik says we shouldn’t. “There has been a growing trend of men in their late 20s who are starting to get interested in finding something more lasting than a typical tryst.” It’s possible that younger men are willing and interested in hitching up for serious. We can hope so, at least!
  7. There are exceptions to the rule. I’ve known men myself who were interested in something serious far earlier than age 28. The dating experts aren’t saying that the window of time where dudes get serious is definite for everyone. Rather, there are plenty of men who want to pursue a relationship even in their teens! You just never know.
  8. It’s always a safe bet to date older. Regardless of whether or not there are exceptions, dating older is generally a way to play it safer. There’s a better chance that a guy will be up for something more serious if they’re in the more mid-ranges of 30s (or even older).
  9. It’s okay to have the commitment talk whenever. Just because some article told you that your dude isn’t going to want to get serious until age 28 doesn’t mean you can’t just go ahead and ask him. The only way to find out at any age what someone wants is by simply asking them. Don’t be afraid to have the commitment talk as soon as you want to (even if you’re scared or you think it’s too soon).
  10. Screw guys who aren’t ready. You can try to play guessing games all day long, trying to figure out at what age your guy is finally going to want to settle down. Or, you could just say screw him. You don’t owe it to anyone to wait around. Instead, you owe it to yourself to pick yourself over a guy who isn’t ready for you.
  11. I wonder what the numbers are for gay or trans men and non-binary folks. It seems that in this case, we’re talking about if a man is straight. What about if he’s gay? Is the number the same or is it different? Why is it the same or different? I’d be super curious to know these things. I’d also be curious to hear about what the numbers for when it comes to trans men and non-binary folks. They’re often not included in things like this.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.
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