All My BFFs Have Given Up On Dating & I Think It’s A Bad Idea

Over the past few months, it’s become super clear to me that a lot of my BFFs are totally fed up with this whole dating thing. They’ve tried the apps, they’ve deleted and re-written profiles, they’ve had more bad dates than they can count and they’re finally done with it all. I don’t think giving up is the answer, though — especially not when love could just be right around the corner. Here’s what I wish I could tell my friends who have given up on dating:

  1. You never know until you try. Sure, you can sit back and claim that you’ll never meet anyone cool because so far you just haven’t, but the old saying is true: you honestly never know what’s going to happen until you give it a shot. Your next date could suck, sure, but your next bad date could also lead you to the best date of your life… and the last one you ever go on, because now you’re in a great relationship.
  2. You’re not doing anything else. You can say you’re too busy with work and that you want the free time to focus on yourself, but let’s be real here — you want to stay home and watch Netflix instead of going on another crappy date. No one can blame you, but sitting on your butt watching more TV is not going to bring you a boyfriend. You’re not really doing anything better, so you might as well keep dating.
  3. You don’t have to date 24/7. No one said that being single and dating meant that you had to go on first dates seven nights a week. That would be pretty exhausting… and you probably couldn’t even realistically get that many dates. You can set your own pace, but pulling yourself out of the game completely is only going to make things worse.
  4. You deserve love. You’re not a messed up loser who isn’t capable of loving someone and being loved in return. You’re pretty much the greatest, and you honestly deserve love. You shouldn’t give up on that dream just because you’ve had some bad luck in the past.
  5. You’re in the same boat as every other single girl (and guy). You’re not unique… at least not when it comes to how you feel about going on first dates. You’re in the same situation as everyone else who’s single, and that goes for guys, too. Isn’t that comforting? Calm down about the whole thing and keep dating — your person (who hates dating as much as you do) is definitely out there.
  6. You’re freaking out over nothing. Sometimes it’s super easy to feel sorry for yourself and think about all the reasons that dates make you break out in hives. Think about whether there really is anything legit to worry about. A first date is just a chance to talk to someone, get to know them a bit, and decide if you want to see them again. Nothing else is going to happen.
  7. You’re not solving anything. When you stop dating, dating still sucks. It’s just the way that it is. You’re not actually solving that problem by taking a step back and refusing to meet anyone. Plus, you’re not meeting anyone IRL so when you make a conscious decision to quit dating, you’re guaranteed to be alone. And what’s the point of that?
  8. Maybe you’re just picking the wrong guys. If you’ve got a “type” but every single date you go on ends in disaster, maybe it’s not dating that’s the problem but rather the type of guys you’re going on dates with. Maybe the reason it’s not working out is because you need to broaden your horizons a bit and give a guy you normally wouldn’t look twice at a chance. It could just change everything.
  9. You’ll get there eventually. That is, if you keep putting yourself out there and remaining optimistic about love. It might seem like the right guy is constantly eluding you, but he’s out there and you need to be too if you ever want to find him.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.
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