All Guys Are Not The Same — You’re Just Picking All The Wrong Ones

You’ve dated enough guys to know they’re all the same — or so you think. Despite the fact that you keep finding guys all cut from the same cloth, your friends have found their perfect match. If all guys are the same, then how come some women find happily ever after while others don’t? Because not all guys are the same — just the ones you date.

  1. Not all guys just want to play games. You meet guys you like but all they give you are mixed signals. You don’t know how they feel or what their intentions are and that’s the way they like it. None of the guys you date ever want a real relationship; they just want to screw with your head. You think all men want to play games, but the reality is you always pick the players, not the real men.
  2. Not all guys will disrespect you. The guys you date make you feel inferior and saying that all men are sexist just seems like pointing out the obvious to you. Once you started believing that no man would ever respect you, you also started accepting it. Now men disrespect you because you allow them to. They feed you BS because you eat it up. Start demanding respect and you just might be surprised by how many guys are willing to give it to you right off the bat.
  3. Not all guys are full of empty promises. You don’t trust a single thing that comes out of a man’s mouth because all men do is lie. They tell you they love you one minute and the next minute they want nothing to do with you. Their mood swings could give you whiplash… except, what about the men who do keep their word? What about your friends who have faithful, loving men in their lives? Are they just the exception? Get over yourself.
  4. Not all guys will ghost you. You think you made a good impression and things are really going somewhere with the guys you date and then you never hear from them again. You don’t know what you’re doing wrong, but you just can’t seem to keep guys interested. Every single one of them ghost you because that’s apparently just what men do, right? Wrong. Pick different guys.
  5. Not all guys are only interested in sex. Not all men want just sex. Some men definitely do. Some men have no interest in romance. They don’t want your mind. They only want your body. The question is—why do you keep finding these men? Why do you only date the guys who don’t really want you, but instead just want a warm body? Not every man wants just sex, but the ones you pick do.
  6. Not all guys refuse to commit. Sure, they never seem to want to commit to you, but you’re the common factor here, so you may just be the problem. You can blame the guys all you want but at the end of the day, it’s you who’s in control of the types of guys you end up with. You’re attracted to the drama, not stability. A normal healthy relationship would be boring to you. You want excitement, and until you get over the games, you’ll never date a man who will actually commit to you.
  7. Not all guys are afraid to settle down. The men you date have no interest in being exclusive, right? They’re all just trying to see how many women they can date at once. In your head, no man will ever be happy with just one woman, but that’s not true. There are one-woman men out there — you’re just never interested in them.
  8. Not all guys are incapable of apologizing. You’re used to dating men who can’t even admit to any wrongdoing. They’re always right and you’re always the one apologizing for the sake of getting over the fight sooner. You’re living in a man’s world and you just have to accept that — except you actually don’t and you shouldn’t. If a guy hurts you or screws you over then at the very least he should say he’s sorry. Men don’t apologize to you because they don’t have to. It only seems like they’re all the same because you just let them off the hook every time.
  9. Not all guys cheat. Looking for a man who’s faithful? That’s not impossible to find. You think men can’t be tamed and that spreading their seed is just biology. That’s so far from the truth, though. The men you date might think sex is just sex and nothing more, but you know what? Not all guys feel that way. The problem in your love life is that rather than holding out for the real men who are loyal and faithful, you keep settling for cheaters.
  10. Not all guys will hold you to impossible standards. No matter what you do, you’re never good enough — at least, not for any of the men you date. What you don’t realize is that there are men out there who will feel lucky to have you, men that think you’re more than enough. At the end of the day, you just have to respect yourself enough to realize that if a guy thinks you’re not good enough, then he’s not good enough for you.
  11. Not all guys only care about themselves. Being selfish isn’t just in their nature. Guys who actually give a crap do exist, just maybe not in your selective dating pool. You choose to date selfish men and then you cry when they don’t care about you and only about themselves. Love should be selfless and there are plenty of men willing to care, you just keep picking the ones who are too selfish to love you the way you deserve.
  12. Not all guys are heartbreakers. That’s the bottom line. Every man has broken your heart so far, but that doesn’t mean every man will continue to break you. Have you ever considered the idea that maybe you keep getting your heart broken because you keep dating the wrong guys? If you keep choosing the same crappy guys then you’ll end up with the same results. So stop dating heartbreakers. Not all guys are players. Not all men are the same. You just keep dating the same type, and that’s exactly why you’re still single.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.