All That Time You’ve Spent Solo Will Make You A Better Girlfriend Someday

It sounds crazy to say that spending a long time single would actually help you be a better girlfriend, but the lessons you learn while living the solo life are invaluable. Here’s why you’re already better equipped to be an awesome partner if you’ve spent a long time alone:

  1. You know what you want. You’ve proven that you don’t need a man to complete your life. If anything, a man might just add a bit of joy and companionship. That means that you’re pretty darn choosy when it comes to finding a mate, and you’re pretty much over the idea of playing games.
  2. You already know how to communicate. Communication is the most important part in any relationship. When you’re flying solo, you easily learn how to get what you want, when you want it. Feel like going to Taco Bell for dinner? You just say, “Hey, I’m in the mood for Taco Bell.” You don’t have a back-and-forth, time-wasting conversation about what to eat. Cutting the filler makes it much easier to stop arguments before they even happen.
  3. You respect yourself. You can’t love someone fully until you love yourself. It sounds cliche, but it’s incredibly true. Even better, you know what respect looks like — and when a guy shows it to you, you know he’s got some long-term potential.
  4. You’ve already figured out your own path in life. When someone has always been part of a couple, a lot of their life decisions focus on what the other person wants. For example, if you really wanted to go to school in California, but your partner lives in New York, you might stay on the east coast for the sake of the relationship. By being alone for a while, you’ve been able to navigate your own path for years and do what makes sense to you (and only you).
  5. You’re not depending on him to boost your confidence. Even if your single spell seemed to last forever, you still went out there and landed a guy with a large gap in your dating resume. That takes a ton of confidence. Bringing that into the relationship is pretty much the key to success and happiness both as an individual and as part of a couple.
  6. You’re well aware of what you have. Being single for a super long time has a way of making you appreciate your partner even more when you’re finally coupled up again. Even when he’s being a pain, you can look back at your single days for a solid perspective to remember that his good qualities outshine his bad ones. If you’re dating a keeper, you’ll let him know how much he means to you.
  7. You understand the importance of “alone time.” When you’re single for awhile, you end up finding happiness in certain solo activities. Plus, you understand when your guy needs some time by himself to refresh as well. Not only do you not take it personally, but since you’re not attached at the hip all the time, you can really appreciate him and the time you spend together just a bit better.
  8. You’re not “going through the motions” at any point. After being alone for so long, each date is truly thrilling. You appreciate each milestone for the accomplishment that it is. And each twist and turn, in all seriousness, is exciting. This is new for you, and you’re giving it everything you’ve got rather than becoming complacent.
  9. You’re taking this seriously. Since you’ve navigated the world solo for so long, you know that a guy might totally cramp your style. By deciding to seriously date someone, you’ve acknowledged the risks and consider yourself to be all in.
  10. You acknowledge your own faults a bit better. Hey, nobody’s perfect. And it just so happens that single girls usually have a pretty good sense of self. As a single woman, you had the time to figure out your individual strengths and weaknesses. So not only can you find a partner that’ll complement your personality a bit better, but you’ll also be a little bit more self-aware throughout the relationship. By knowing yourself, you’re not only able to love better — you’re also able to be a much stronger individual.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.