Why Being Almost Loved Is Worse Than A Bad Breakup

Why Being Almost Loved Is Worse Than A Bad Breakup ©iStock/izusek

The almost relationship has taken over and it seems like there’s truly no escaping it unless you want to be alone forever — which sometimes feels like a better option, especially when your almost relationship ends and you’re left picking up the super confusing pieces. Here’s why being almost-loved is so much worse than a bad breakup:

  1. You were so close. If you had just stayed together for a week or two more, you just know you would have made things official. You were so close to true love, and look where it got you. At least with a breakup, you know you were in love. There’s a huge difference.
  2. You thought things would be forever. You really, really liked this guy, and it felt like he was becoming your boyfriend. More than that, it felt like he was going to be your forever boyfriend. It’s like a law of Almost Relationships: you get head-over-heels and are convinced he feels the same way, only to have it crashing down on you.
  3. You feel delusional. You thought this guy really cared about you, and, well, look what happened. Now you feel delusional and like you always make something out of nothing.
  4. You want to give up. When you go through a horrible breakup, it doesn’t make you want to stop trying to find love. You get that, yeah, people grow apart and they’re not right for each other, and that’s just the way it goes. But when you’re almost loved, it hurts even more because you didn’t get the satisfaction of a real relationship. And that makes you want to stop going on dates, period.
  5. You get zero closure. Sure, sometimes you don’t get a ton of closure when you breakup with your long-time BF, but you never get any closure when it comes to an almost relationship. That would be too nice and easy or something.
  6. You pity yourself. If you were dumped in a traditional way, you would be able to deal. It’s happened enough times by now. But when you’re almost-loved, you start feeling sorry for yourself. You hate it. But you can’t stop. You wonder why you’re never a real girlfriend, at least not these days, and why all these people around you are in super happy couples.
  7. You re-think everything you knew about love. Suddenly nothing about love or dating makes any sense. You thought you knew what love was, but clearly you know nothing at all. Were you fooling yourself in the past, too? Has every guy who told you he loved you been totally lying? It really messes with your confidence and sense of self.
  8. You know it will happen again. This is probably the worst take-away from an almost relationship. Since they’re super common these days, you just know this is going to happen again. And again. And again. Ugh.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.