Are You In An Almost Relationship? 10 Awkward Signs He’s Not Quite Your Boyfriend

Our generation has mastered the three to six month period of an “almost relationship” when you’re totally dating but refuse to admit it. You can pretend all you want that you’re not playing house, but eventually, a disaster will ensue when one of you realizes you’re in too deep.  If these awkward situations sound familiar, your situationship probably qualifies.

  1. Whether or not to text good morning has become an internal debate. It’s common in most serious relationships for your partner to be the first person you talk to every morning and the last each night. When you’re texting all day and are super up to date on each other’s lives but not officially dating, is the “sweet dreams” text expected or excessive? To be safe, you settle for once or twice a week instead of every day.
  2. Not knowing what the hell to call him in stories is a major stressor. First of all, the fact that you’re telling your friends about a guy you’re not seriously dating already says something, but it’s even more obvious you’re in an almost relationship when you have no clue how to refer to him. You can’t say he’s your boyfriend but he’s clearly more than your friend. Ugh.
  3. When you’re out at the bar, you’re unsure whether or not you can flirt with other dudes. It’s up to you and whoever you’re seeing if you’ve talked about dating other people, but it can feel so freaking awkward to pass out your number to someone else at the bar when you’re 99 percent sure you’re heading to your kinda-dude’s place later. If you’ve given each other permission to see other people and you still feel weird about actually doing it, you’re definitely caught in an almost relationship.
  4. How many Snaps you take before actually pressing send is decreasing. When you’re first talking to someone new, it can take a solid 10 minutes to take the perfect picture. Once you get comfortable enough with him, you don’t care how silly you look or if the lighting isn’t perfect. Still, sending via Snapchat, which disappears, instead of a picture via text proves that you’re not quite serious yet.
  5. You start wondering if in sickness and in health applies here. Even if you’re not exclusively dating someone, you might genuinely care about him. That means when he’s sick, you might want to take care of him and when you’re sick, you might be itching to call. But bringing over chicken noodle soup or having him take care of your disgusting and snotty self are both serious violations of a casual fling. If your first thought when you’re sick is “I want him here,” you’re in further than you think.
  6. You miss him but feel like you can’t admit it. Maybe he’s gone on vacation with his family or your crazy work week has made it impossible to see him. Either way, the first time you realize you miss him, you also realize you can’t tell him. You haven’t had the serious talk, so sharing your feelings would probably freak him out. Instead, you just say something like, “We should hang out soon!!” with a cute emoji.
  7. Navigating the world of PDA feels like the hardest test you’ve ever taken. When two people are officially dating, no one thinks twice about being cute public or a quick kiss in front of friends. Almost relationships make the PDA question confusing as hell. Is holding hands too couple-y? Is being careful not to brush up against his leg too friend-zone? Will everyone you’re with get the wrong idea? What on earth do you do?!
  8. You can tell him anything but you can’t help but apologize for venting. When you have a crappy day, he’s just a phone call away for emotional support. But since he’s not your boyfriend, after you’ve unloaded all your feelings, you feel super guilty and can’t stop apologizing. After all, he didn’t sign up for that, did he?
  9. You sneakily trying to keep a few pics on your phone. Chances are, you haven’t taken any pictures together yet (and if you have, you’ve gone past almost relationship into commitment land). Still, you’re going to want to show friends what he looks like, so you settle for saving some of his best shots from Facebook and Instagram. Just make sure he doesn’t find himself in your camera roll “favorites” or you’ll have some explaining to do.
  10. Talking about your feelings is always testy waters. It’s hard in an almost relationship to know how much to share and how much to keep to yourself. Obviously if you’re still hanging out after all this time, you’re both somewhat into each other but no one wants to be the one to start the “I really like you” conversation. If you’ve been seeing a guy for a while and want to move things to the next level, take the leap of faith and let him know. Worst case scenario is that he won’t agree, but who knows—maybe you’re both ready for something real.
We only have one chance to live this life and I'm making the most of it. I'll make plenty of mistakes along the way but each one will send me further down the right path.
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