You Already Live Together, So Why Should You Get Married?

You Already Live Together, So Why Should You Get Married? ©iStock/BraunS

These days, it’s become customary to live together first and get married second. But if you’re already sharing a home, finances and basically livinglike husband and wife, is there really any point in getting married? It’s all a matter of perspective.

  1. Marriage will always be the greatest commitment. That’s what marriage is all about, right? A lifelong commitment. Cohabitation means committing to a lease, not to forever. You might say you want to be together forever, but you can’t argue with the fact that a breakup will always be easier than a divorce.
  2. Why did you move in together? Was it circumstantial, the next logical step in your relationship or just because you love each other and want to be together every day and every night? You have to look at the reasons you’re here together now. Then look at why you want more. You can’t marry because you’re mother or society wants you to. You can’t live your life for others. It has to be for no one but you.
  3. If it’s what you want, then there’s a difference. Some couples might claim that living together is exactly the same as being married, but they’re wrong. If marriage matters to you, then it won’t be just the same. Just because you moved in together doesn’t mean you have to get married. If it’s what you truly want, then take that next step. But if in this time together, you realized that forever isn’t what you want, then just let him go.
  4. Because you’re old fashioned when it comes to starting a family. Marriage is a great way to say, “I’ve seen what’s out there and I’m done looking.” You’re ready to settle down and start a family. Having two parents who are fully committed to each other through marriage can mean a lot to kids. It teaches kids how to love, and you how to build stability. Marriage is a partnership, and raising a family is the ultimate test.
  5. Marriage can be a sense of security. Every relationship goes through hard times, but marriage can give you the confidence that no matter how rough the waters, you’ll brave the sea together. No one wants to be abandoned by their partner and a marriage is a verbal and legal agreement to stick together through thick and thin. We all need to feel safe and for so many, marriage is the best security.
  6. It’s not just a piece of paper. For people who don’t believe in marriage, that’s exactly what it is — a piece of paper with a lot of tax benefits. But if marriage means something to you, then it’ll always be so much more. You might live together now, but you haven’t truly committed to forever.
  7. Sometimes you have to live together to know you could be married. You wouldn’t buy a car without at least taking it for a test drive first. So why are you willing to jump into marriage without knowing if your same house dynamic could even work? Living together puts your love to the test. If you pass, then you might just be ready to walk down the aisle; if you fail, well, at least you saved yourself from a messy divorce.
  8. You don’t have to. If you don’t want to get married, then don’t. If you don’t see a point in marriage, then that’s your prerogative. At the end of the day, haters gonna hate. People will judge you no matter what you do. So stop living for the critics and live for yourself instead. Live “in sin” if you want to, and to hell with all the rest.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.