I Already Love Myself, So Stop Telling Me I Need To In Order To Find Love

I Already Love Myself, So Stop Telling Me I Need To In Order To Find Love ©iStock/ MaxFrost

When you’re single, people often say some obnoxious and cliche crap to you to explain why you’re still riding solo. Some people think you’re too picky, while others insist it’ll happen when you stop looking. But the most infuriating of all is when people say that you need to love yourself first before anyone else can. It’s total BS and I’m sick of hearing it. There’s actually a long list of reasons of why we probably love ourselves more because we’re single:

  1. We love our quirks. We’ve spent so much time with just ourselves that we’ve become aware of every single little quirk we have. Whether it’s the fact that we like peanut butter and grilled cheese sandwiches or snooze our alarms eight times before actually getting up, we accept our idiosyncrasies and love the unique people we are.
  2. We’re masters of making our own decisions. We don’t have a partner to consult with over important decisions so we make them ourselves and are confident in the choices we make. We’re fully aware that when we find the right person, we’re going to need to make compromises. In the meantime; being certain of ourselves is just one more thing to love about our lives.
  3. We’ve embraced our minds. We’re alone with our thoughts and ideas a ton and because of this, we’re in tune with who we are mentally and intellectually. When you don’t routinely have someone to run ideas by or vent our frustrations to in life, you begin problem solving and brainstorming on your own and eventually, you get really good at it. Basically, we’re awesome.
  4. We know we’re not perfect, and we love that about ourselves. No one is perfect and we don’t overanalyze our flaws to justify our single status. We know it’s just because the right person hasn’t come along yet, and that’s OK. It’ll happen eventually.
  5. We’ve learned to love being on our own. There’s something to be said about a person who can master the game of life completely solo. What’s the word? Oh, right: badass. We’re badass warriors of our own lives and who wouldn’t love that?
  6. We’re passionate and invest time in the things that matter to us. Our lives aren’t the hustle and bustle of pairing two lives into one, so for now, we have free range to pursue more interests and projects of our own choosing. We know what we love, what we hate, what we’re passionate about and don’t hesitate doing everything and anything that makes us feel good.
  7. Everyone has good days and bad days. Even people who are completely happy in relationships have days where they doubt themselves. No one is super confident and loves themselves every second of every single day. We’re human and we all have high and low points, but it doesn’t mean we’re not happy with ourselves overall.
  8. No one tells us they love us, so we tell ourselves. We don’t come home to a warm embrace. We don’t wake up to a good morning kiss, or a person who tells us they love us on the daily, so we’ve learned to tell ourselves and actually believe it. Over time, we’ve grown to know ourselves so well that falling in love with who we are was inevitable. If no one else does, who else will? We’re all we have at the end of the day.
  9. We know we deserve it. Above anything else, we know we’ve put in the work and a person can only feel deserving if they feel like they’ve earned it. Knowing and loving the person we’ve become in the process of being alone is the purest form of self-love there is. We didn’t have a partner’s love to help us feel secure enough to feel confident in loving ourselves. It wasn’t provoked by a compliment, a first kiss, or by someone telling us we were loved so we could feel worthy of it. We found the confidence on our own and we’re definitely ready for the love we deserve.