7 Alternatives To Ghosting That Won’t Make You Look Like A Douchebag

With the invention of the Internet and texting, it’s really easy to just disappear on people when you don’t want to talk to them anymore. While ghosting is certainly easier than telling someone you’re not interested anymore, it’s almost never the right choice. Time to grow a pair and quit it. Try one of these options instead:

  1. Announce your departure in a quick text. If you’ve only been on one date and you’re just not feeling it, it’s better to let him down right away than letting him anguish at your sudden silence. Just send him a quick, “Hi! I’m sorry, but I just don’t see us together. But I wish you well!” You can stop talking to him after that.
  2. Tell him you’re uncomfortable. There’s an urge to ghost on guys who might be creeping you out a bit. That’s especially tempting when he’s coming on too strong. If that’s the case, he won’t understand why you’ve suddenly gone quiet. As you say goodbye to him, tell him why in the nicest way possible. “I appreciate all the compliments, but I’m starting to feel overwhelmed by our conversations. I’m going to have to say goodbye. Sorry!”
  3. Give it another chance. There’s debate about how long you should date someone before you make up your mind. Generally, if you aren’t sure if you’re a match, you should stick it out until at least the third date. Don’t cut ties until you know for sure, or you may end up losing something that could have been awesome.
  4. Have your friends say something. Yep, it’s incredibly cowardly to have your friends tell someone you aren’t interested in him, but it’s still better than ghosting. At least he’ll know where he stands.
  5. Break up in person. You should absolute never ghost someone that you were actively dating for more than a month. You’re in a relationship. Break up with them like a rational human being: in person.
  6. Treat him how you’d want to be treated. You probably wouldn’t feel too good if you were ghosted. There’s all the uncertainty without any resolution or closure. If you’re thinking about ghosting, just think of how you’d want him to do it to you–then do that.
  7. Pretend that you don’t even have the option. Ghosting wasn’t even a thing a decade ago. When people stopped being interested in someone, they’d just let them know. Channel your inner ’90s girl and bring it back to simpler times.
Trisha is a full time writer living in Montana. In her free time, she paints mountainscapes on her skin with body paint and reads a ton of YA lit.