It might hurt to let a good guy go, but if you know in your heart that he’s not the right one for you, choosing to be single can be one of the most empowering decisions you make. Here’s why:
You make your happiness a priority. Yes, relationships are hard work and require some sacrifice and compromise, but that doesn’t mean you should put yourself in a relationship that doesn’t make you feel good. What’s the point of being in a relationship with a guy who makes you feel just “okay” when you can feel amazing all on your own?
You stick to your standards. Your standards are important. They’re like warning signs that flash red when the wrong guy comes along, preventing you from settling for less than you deserve. If you ignore your standards, you’re essentially ignoring your gut. Nothing good can come from that.
You know you’re valuable. You wouldn’t accept a handbag or meal that wasn’t what you initially ordered, would you? Likewise, when you figure out what you want in a partner, you say “no thank you” when the wrong guy rocks up. You know your worth. You know what you deserve. You’re not afraid to close doors on anything or anyone that falls short of that. Now that’s something to fall in love with!
You know you can do great things on your own. If a guy’s not going to make you completely, utterly, speechlessly happy, you’d rather give him a miss and focus on doing that for yourself. Yes, you know you don’t need a man to make you happy, and certainly not an average dude.
You don’t have “settled woman syndrome.” The symptoms of this include a fear of being alone and the need to have someone so that you feel normal in society. By choosing not to settle, you become a strong single woman instead of a fearful one, and someone who’d rather be happy on her own than unhappy for the sake of living up to ridiculous societal standards.
You raise the bar for other men. When you stick to your high standards, you attract the right kind of men. These are the men who give you what you want in your relationship, complement you on all levels, and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You can’t get those men by having no standards at all — the worthy men will rise to meet your standards every time. Here’s to weeding out the losers in the world!
Your feelings can’t hurt you. Single life might be lonely at times, but you welcome the feeling. The same goes for when you feel sad or afraid of the future that could include you becoming a cat lady. You aren’t afraid of feeling those things because they don’t control you. Plus, you know that what’s much scarier than these feelings is the idea of spending days with the wrong man trapped in the wrong relationship.
You boost your confidence. There’s nothing more powerful than choosing yourself over a romantic opportunity. It increases your self-love and makes you feel so in control of your own destiny. Woo hoo!
You feel more positive about the future. You might think that you’ll feel negative about the future, wondering, “Where are all the great men?” or “Why don’t I ever meet the right guys?” when showing Mr. Wrong the door, but you’ll surprisingly feel positive things. By not wasting time with the wrong men, you open up space for the right ones to come along. If they don’t right now, you can fill that space with a fabulous life.
You learn to say no. If you’re settling for an average relationship, you have to convince yourself that you’re happy. You say “yes” to the guy who you don’t really love and pretend to be happy when you’re not really feeling satisfied in the relationship… which is a hell of a lot of hard work for nothing in return. But when you have the strength to say “no” to the men who don’t meet your standards, you learn to value yourself and what you want. You show self-respect and live truthfully.
You enjoy yourself in more meaningful ways. You’ve heard it before and you’ll hear it again now: you don’t need a relationship to bring purpose to your life. By choosing not to settle, you live that fact every day. In fact, the experience of choosing yourself over a man can push you to get out there and bring other kinds of love into your life, like that of your best friends. It also makes you choose to focus on your career and dreams that make you feel amazing. The result? You end up with a beautiful life that you never would’ve had if you’d settled for Mr. Good Enough.
You remember who matters most. You know that there are many men out there, so not choosing an average relationship with one of them is not the end of the world. There will be other romantic opportunities for you, but what’s so much more important than that is realizing that there’s only one of you and you matter more than anything. Your happiness and well-being is not for sale. You cherish it above all else and the right man will too.
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