There’s no avoiding the odd jerk every now and then, but if your dating record is mostly devoid of good guys, you might want to evaluate why it’s going so terribly wrong. You’re a great catch — that’s certainly not the problem — but the reason you keep ending up with so many losers is still down to you.
- Your standards are just too low. If you end up dating a series of crappy men, you really need to evaluate your standards. While we all meet bad guys from time to time, if it’s becoming a pattern, you need to start making it a lot harder for them. Realize your worth and set your bar too high for jerks to jump over.
- You ignore things you shouldn’t. Even though jerks are usually good liars, there are always at least a few subtle signs indicating that they’re bad news. If you keep ending up with the same type of guy over and over again, chances are you’re flat out ignoring the red flags. If something doesn’t feel right, you need to take off those rose colored glasses and really look into why.
- You’re focusing on the wrong things. If all you think about is how hot he is or the fact that he has a good job, you’ll miss out on what really matters. Looks fade, and investing your everything into someone based on such superficial things is disasterous. He could look like Tom Hardy, but if he treats you like dirt and you’re unhappy, that should be your wake up call.
- You don’t want to be alone. The fear of being alone will unfortunately cause you to settle for some pretty crappy guys. Not only will you read as more desperate, but you’ll also start to accept more bad behaviour than you should just to avoid being single. Realizing being alone is way better than being with someone unworthy will be a huge victory for you.
- You always make excuses for them. If you’re constantly excusing crappy behavior from a man, you’ll never find one who doesn’t need excuses made for him. Any guy who makes you have to justify his actions isn’t worth your effort or time.
- You’re not clear about what you want. If you can’t figure out what you really want in a relationship, you’ll keep landing guys who only want something casual, or confusing. Your lack of definition is an invitation for them to make the rules and tailor the relationship to suit them without ever considering you.
- You make him an instant priority. If you start dropping things in your life to give a new guy all your attention right away, you’re probably setting yourself up for disappointment. A crappy guy will see that as an opportunity to take what he can get when it’s good for him and then ditch you when it’s convenient.
- You think you can fix him. Picking guys that you think you need to fix will always be an uphill battle. No one changes unless they want to, and if they keep getting away with their behaviour, they’re not going to budge. Instead of dealing with the men who need work, start setting your sights on the ones who don’t need a personality makeover.
