Opinion: Always Being A Good Person Will Get You Screwed Over In Love

Opinion: Always Being A Good Person Will Get You Screwed Over In Love ©iStock/sematadesign

Sometimes in love, good girls finish last. You cannot help being a good person, and there’s no reason to try to change your nature, but you’ll most likely get screwed over during your journey to find love. If you’re a good person who’s been burned by love, these 10 things are probably true about you and your past relationships:

  1. You give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Your inclination to give people a favorable opinion without any evidence to do so prevents you from being cautious around people you should be careful around, and that leads to you getting burned. You’d rather risk getting hurt than judge someone unfairly, which is why your feelings end up getting hurt a lot more than other people’s.
  2. You forgive people who don’t deserve it. Being forgiving is an amazing trait, but not when that means allowing people to hurt you over and over again. Some people need to be cut off, but your good nature stops you from turning people away who are asking for your forgiveness.
  3.  You’re too generous. You’re generous with your feelings, affection, time, and resources. It feels good to give and expect nothing in return, but there’s a limit to that. You end up attracting people who only want to take, and your generosity is taken advantage of.
  4. You treat others how you’d like to be treated, not how they deserve to be treated. You love by the golden rule, and that gets you screwed over. Not everyone deserves to be treated as well as you do, but you still can’t get yourself to be mean to someone, even if it is completely called for. People take your kindness and thank you by being a loser, because not everyone deserves your compassion.
  5. People see your big heart as a weakness to be exploited. Unfortunately, being a good person makes you a target for people who want to take advantage of someone. It’s easy to prey on your heart because it is so big and filled with love, and there are a lot of crappy people out there who have no problem screwing you over. At the end of the day, you’re always better off being a good person, even if that means dealing with jerks who see that as a weakness.
  6. You assume others are as honest as you are. You don’t believe in lying or sneaking around and you have faith that others will be up front with you if you’re honest with them. You get screwed over by liars and cheaters because you believe in honesty so much that you’re caught off guard by the fact that people who are close to you are capable of lying to your face.
  7. You put yourself last. Your good nature often means you’re putting everyone else before yourself. If you don’t make yourself a priority, your partner won’t either. Putting others before yourself is almost a bad habit you don’t realize you have until one of your friends yells at you for putting yourself second in a relationship again.
  8. You give until there’s nothing left. You’re a giver, and some people take advantage of that. They take your love, support, encouragement, time, and sometimes even money. They take and take and give nothing back. Eventually, you have absolutely nothing left to give, and then they’re gone.
  9. You make the best of situations instead of leaving them. Your positive, can-do attitude means you’re excellent at making the best of a bad situation. When the bad situation is your relationship though, you’re really better off leaving that trying to make things better. Your tendency to try to make everything OK only gets you screwed over worse in love, because things don’t really get better — they stay the same or get worse.
  10. You believe that everyone deserves a second chance. You have endless faith in people, and that’s a wonderful characteristic to have. However, when it comes to your heart and body, not everyone deserves a second chance. Your cheating ex-boyfriend and that guy who ghosted on his last girlfriend probably don’t deserve your second chances, but you always seem to learn that lesson the hard way.
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.