I’m Always Honest & It Gets Me Into A Lot Of Trouble

Going through life as a tough woman has a lot of advantages. For example, you’re taken seriously, and no one messes with you. However, those advantages come with some struggles as well. These are some things that not many people realize make things harder for women who can handle whatever life throws at them:

  1. Your bluntness can be misconstrued as nastiness. You get right to the point because it works. You don’t feel the need to dance around a subject, because being overly sensitive is a waste of time. You’re not trying to be a jerk on purpose, but your direct nature can make it come off that way.
  2. Others come to you for advice. A LOT. It’s flattering to be seen as the go-to person when someone needs help, and you’re happy to give it, but being the strong one for everybody can be really exhausting. It can be frustrating as well, especially when the same person leans on you constantly instead of learning how to be strong on their own.
  3. Some people think you have no sense of humor. You might not have a constant “no-nonsense” attitude about you, but some people tend to treat you that way because they equate your strength with seriousness. Even though you’re tough, you still enjoy witty banter and playful insults. Being tough doesn’t mean that you can’t laugh at armpit farts.
  4. You’re sometimes viewed as an all-knowing sage. There is a degree of knowledge and experience that comes from being tough, but toughness doesn’t automatically equal wisdom. You’re fully aware of your shortcomings, and you don’t pretend to know everything about everything, but people still seem baffled when you say, “I don’t know.”
  5. People think you’re invincible. You’re still vulnerable in certain areas of your life ─ you just handle it differently. You know that vulnerability only becomes an impediment when you let it destroy you every time you feel it. You’ve been hurt plenty of times, and you felt all the pain associated with those things ─ you just bounce back from that heartbreak faster because you’re tough.
  6. Your toughness is intimidating. This can be unnecessarily off-putting to some people. There’s nothing to fear about you, and you don’t mean any harm, but some people tread lightly around you anyway. Being intimidating is advantageous to an extent, but it’s irritating when people put you up on some weird pedestal because of it.
  7. People assume everything is easy for you. This is far from true. You have your struggles just like anyone else, and you can’t run through life freely without experiencing consequences. You’re more than capable of powering though the hard stuff, but unfortunately, others think that your discipline allows you to simply brush off negative things.
  8. It can be hard to relate to other people. Becoming genuinely tough in the first place requires surviving a lot of battles and turmoil. When someone else has a meltdown over something that’s generally very trivial, it can be difficult for you to relate to them without being a condescending jerk. When that person is complaining incessantly about a minor life event and all you can think is, “That’s nothing,” it creates a divide between the two of you that’s hard to overcome.
  9. You can be seen as an angry person. As a tough woman, you aren’t quick to anger. You’ve felt anger just as much as the next person, and you aren’t mad every day for no reason, but your tough nature can be confused for wrath when that isn’t the case at all. You’re probably just as cheery as anyone else, but not everyone realizes that.
  10. You’re automatically respected. This may seem like a positive thing, but it can actually be damaging. As a tough woman, you view respect as something that is earned, not given freely. When you don’t earn respect and it is given to you casually, you feel like you haven’t been able to fully prove yourself.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at Inside.com. While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.