Why I Always Say Yes To Every Date Even If I’m Not Sure There’s A Spark

I used to turn down date invitations from guys I wasn’t immediately into. I didn’t want to waste time with someone I thought there was no chance at a future with so I didn’t bother. However, I’ve since changed my approach and I say yes every single time a guy asks me out. Here’s why you should give it a try too.

  1. You just never know. Maybe the initial introduction isn’t anything to write home about but that doesn’t mean after some good conversation that something won’t click. Sometimes the attraction doesn’t come until a bit later. Maybe something will come of going out with someone you’re not sure about, but how will you ever know if you don’t say yes?
  2. Real dates are rare in the age of social media. If someone has the guts to ask me out on a real date these days, that says something. I recently met a guy online and he didn’t ask for my phone number or any additional photos until we had met face to face. It was so classy, and it caught me a bit off-guard because I thought guys didn’t think like that anymore. I wasn’t sure about him but since he made the effort to plan an actual date, it was still worth doing despite the fact that it didn’t work out. When a guy is serious enough to actually want to take you out instead of just sext or hook up, he’s worth giving a chance.
  3. Even if you have a type, that can certainly change. I used to only go for guys that had dark hair, wore sweaters with button-up shirts underneath and liked punk rock. I never considered going for a gym rat or a blond. Now, that seems completely ridiculous and rather shallow. If you meet someone that isn’t really your type, is that really a reason to not get to know him? Your type might change if he’s the right guy.
  4. Even if it’s not a love connection, maybe you’ll make a friend. I try to go into dates with an open mind, but if I’m really not feeling it after a few hours together, maybe it really just isn’t meant to be. That doesn’t mean that this guy needs to be let go completely. Maybe we do still enjoy each other’s company and a friendship is in the cards instead. If we can both be mature enough to talk about the fact that we don’t have a romantic future, it could be worth seeing if there is a friendship in there somewhere.
  5. Sometimes you just need to get pretty, go out, and have a guy treat you well. It’s not just about free dinners. If someone is truly interested in me, I’ll get dressed up, show up, and let him be kind to me. Once. If there’s nothing there, obviously I wouldn’t continue to take advantage of his kindness, but what woman doesn’t want a pleasant night out with a guy after one too many jerks?
  6. If anything, you get a good story. Maybe it’s so uncomfortable we both can barely make it through dinner. Sometimes things really just go badly and if that happens, instead of getting all bent out of shape over it, I try and laugh it off as best I can. After all, there’s nothing better than having a disastrous date story to tell your girls about the next time you meet up.
  7. You may learn something new. Dating someone I normally wouldn’t means that I may have an eye-opening experience that I normally wouldn’t. First dates usually mean a lot of new information being shared between two people, so what if he is really passionate about something that’s new and exciting to me? If you’re someone who loves to learn new things, this can only be a good thing.
  8. Even if he’s not “The One,” someone else in the room might be. I once went to a party with someone I pretty much knew it would never work with. Ten minutes into the gathering, my date was pretty much gone with some of his friends, leaving me to fend for myself. I ended up chatting with another guy and we really hit it off. I didn’t walk out on my date, but I did get the other guy’s number and we went for drinks a few times afterward. See what I mean?
  9. You’ll never wonder what could have been. I can’t explain how many times I’ve said no to someone for one reason or another and years later wondered what had happened if I’d just said yes? It’s a horrible feeling to think that maybe I should have just left my comfort zone. Even if the date didn’t go well, I would have at least known it wasn’t right instead of wondering if maybe there would have been something good in store. I don’t want to live with regrets like that and neither should you.
jordan is a writer from salt lake city who enjoys a good steak, her dog, and conversations about how radiohead is awesome. she hopes to be a talking head on some VH1 pop-culture show someday and can curate a playlist for any occasion. when she grows up she wants to be an olsen twin.
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