I’ll Always Show Guys Kindness & Respect—I Don’t Believe In Being A Bitch To Get The Guy

Being too nice can seriously hinder your dating game, or so I hear. Apparently, an excess of kindness makes me look desperate to land a guy, but I disagree. I’m a naturally friendly and accommodating person unless I have a reason not to be. I’m not just going to be a bitch for no reason just because some guys might find that attractive.

  1. Just because I’m nice doesn’t mean I’m a pushover. I’ll treat anyone with respect unless they start to disrespect me and when that happens, I’ll decide whether or not the situation is even worth some bitchiness. I pick my battles very carefully because I don’t have time for BS and I won’t stress myself out over things that won’t matter in the long run. If I’m being disrespected, I’ll just shamelessly cut that person out of my life instead of being mean right back.
  2. I’m not petty. I won’t be walking around feeling vengeful and trying to get back at someone who wronged me. I rise above that because I’m better than revenge and I deal with pain appropriately. Plotting to get someone back for the pain they’ve caused me is just not in my wheelhouse. I’d rather be off doing things I enjoy and living my amazing life than lowering myself to bitch status.
  3. Being a bitch doesn’t make anyone any cooler. If I did care about being perceived as cool, which I don’t, I really don’t think that being a terrible human being is the way to go. Cool to me is being a kind, decent person and treating others with respect. More people should try it sometime.
  4. I’m open for a reason. If I like a guy, I want him to know it. I’m not going to pretend to ignore his messages or play other stupid games and act as though I’m some celebrity he couldn’t possibly get next to. I’m going to be my sweet, kind self and if he doesn’t like it or thinks it’s because other guys don’t want me then he’s sorely mistaken.
  5. A guy who doesn’t like nice women is obviously insecure. If a guy’s first thought when I’m nice to him while dating is that there must be something wrong with me because I’m actually that nice and have some feelings for him then he’s nothing but an insecure little boy. I’m nice because I have no reason not to be, not because I don’t have other options in the dating department.
  6. I’d rather be alone than with someone who finds rudeness endearing. It’s one thing to enjoy the spicy side of your partner, but I wouldn’t be with the right guy if he was with me solely because of the fact that I was rude to people and he found it funny or cute. It’s neither, and it should only be brought out when necessary. If a guy is into bitches, he’s just not the right guy for me.
  7. I won’t pretend for anyone. Being a savage or curving guys left and right in the worst possible way might be funny when I’m scrolling through Instagram, but I would never treat a person like that. If a guy is into me and I don’t return his feelings, I’m going to let him down gently and do my best to avoid hurting him. At the same time, if I’m into a guy, I’m going to compliment him all the time. It’s just the way I am.
  8. Having a good attitude should be hot. The sweet girl next door vibe used to get guys going, so what happened? It seems that everyone has something to prove these days and they do so by being savage AF and having no feelings at all. I’m just not down with that. The only person I have anything to prove to is myself, and I won’t make myself small, angry and unfeeling because more guys are into that.
  9. It works for me because it makes me stand out from the crowd. I’ve never really “fit in” anyway and I never settle for good enough, so when it comes to the guy I’m dating, if he thinks my niceness is too much then I’m glad. He can get back to his corner with the rest of the people who are dead inside so that the good guys can find me easier.
  10. I’m often underestimated. I’d much rather be underestimated than overestimated. When it comes to guys, I’m usually perceived as one-note or a weak little girl because of how nice I am because I refuse to go all crazy every time something bugs me. I’m a grown woman with a past that has made me one of the strongest people I know and if I wanted to, I could mentally destroy someone with only words.
  11. My strength is what makes me so nice. I know that every single person on the planet has bad days and has been through their own personal trials. I’m nice to everyone I meet because I know exactly how it feels to be down and out and all alone. I refuse to be the rain on someone’s parade.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.