Am I Dating A Narcissist? 9 Signs His Ego Is Out Of Control

There are few things worse than dating a guy who only cares about himself. In fact, it’s kind of anathema to being in a relationship in the first place. Unfortunately for all of the women out there, men are naturally ego-driven creatures. In fairness, some of us are capable of reeling it in and keeping our ego under wraps when necessary, but that’s not always the case. Here are some signs you’re dating a narcissist and it will likely ruin the relationship.

  1. Everything is about him. You know a guy has a giant ego when he finds a way to take everything that happens or everything that’s said and make it about him. More than anything else, egoists crave attention. They need it as much as they need air. If you have a problem you want to talk about, a guy with a giant ego will interrupt you and start talking about how that problem affects him. He’ll even hijack less important conversations and shift the focus back to himself. This should be a clear-cut sign of a narcissist.
  2. He’s doesn’t take your advice. If a guy actively seeks out your advice, you know that he trusts and appreciates you. But don’t expect a narcissistic guy to do the same. That kind of guy won’t care about your opinion at all. You may share it but he won’t be listening. It’s not that he’ll consider what you’re saying and then not follow it – he won’t even be listening when you share your thoughts. If a guy seems completely uninterested in listening to you share an opinion or advice, it’s a safe bet that he has an ego problem.
  3. You have frequent arguments for no reason. Occasional arguments are perfectly normal in a relationship, but if you’re arguing all the time, something could be wrong. One problem could be a guy with too big of an ego. An egotistical guy will assume that he’s always right. If you disagree with him about something, he’ll be more than willing to fight you on it. He’ll keep fighting until you admit that he’s right, which could take a while. Dating a narcissist means there’s no wiggle room for anyone other than him to be right.
  4. He gets jealous easily. There is a lot to unpack when it comes to jealousy in relationships. However, a man’s ego can be a big driver of jealousy. A narcissist will think that he’s the only important person in your life. He’ll truly believe this and won’t even entertain the thought that this is unreasonable, impossible, and downright toxic. If a guy gets jealous of your ex or simply you hanging out with friends, it’s a sign that his giant ego has been a little bruised.
  5. He enjoys when you’re wrong. If there’s one thing narcissists love more than being right, it’s proving you wrong. If you make a mistake, he’ll be the first to tell you about it rather than offering support. If he’s a serious narcissist, he’ll bring up a similar situation in which he was right about something. Guys like this are so self-absorbed that they’ll look for any chance to point out something they did and brag about it. No matter the situation, he likes it when you’re wrong and he’s right.
  6. He talks down to others. If you sense a guy you’re dating is talking down to you, it’s usually a combination of ego and old-fashioned chauvinism. But if he’s a true narcissist, it won’t just apply to you. Guys like this will just assume that they’re better than anybody they meet. You may notice this behavior with servers in restaurants or even when he meets your friends. He’ll talk down to people and have an arrogant tone in everything he says.
  7. Everything is a competition. You may be noticing a theme here, but a narcissist will assume that he’s the best at everything. He also needs everyone to know that, which is why he turns everything into a competition. He’ll look for any way to show you that he’s better than you and everyone else. Granted, a little friendly competition can be fun for couples sometimes, but when you’re dating a narcissist, things tend to go too far and be taken too seriously.
  8. He leads an extravagant lifestyle. At first, this might seem like a good thing. A guy with an extravagant lifestyle will buy you nice things and take you cool places but deep down, that stuff is all about ego. Narcissistic guys are obsessed with providing themselves with the finer things in life. They also want to make everyone else know that they have these things. It’s easy to fall for that guy, but he’ll always care about himself more than you.
  9. He can’t handle criticism. Narcissists will do anything to protect their egos. As a result, they don’t take criticism well. At the slightest critique, they will immediately get defensive. Any negative statement about him will be viewed as an attack. In other words, a big ego usually equals thin skin. Even if you’re only trying to be helpful, a guy like this will either fight back or tune you out completely. Either way, his ego is getting in the way of the relationship.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.