Am I Falling Out Of Love Or Just In A Rut? How To Know Where You Stand

No relationship stays in the honeymoon phase forever — it’s unrealistic to expect it, and you probably know that. Life takes over and part of being a strong couple means forming a partnership that weathers the storms of life but still knows how to have fun. If you’ve been feeling like lately, you’re just not sure that description applies to you, you might wonder if you’re falling out of love or if it’s just a rough patch. If you’re wondering whether the love between you is gone, at least on your end, here are some signs to look for.

  1. You’re always comparing them to others. If you look at your partner and suddenly think about how they’re not doing certain things that blah blah’s boyfriend does or how you wish they dressed, looked, acted, or worked more like someone else, this is a problem. Comparing your partner to everyone else because you think those other people are better is a sure sign you’re falling out of love. Since when wasn’t your partner good enough for you?
  2. You’ve forgotten all the positive things about them. When we first get with someone, it’s easy to overlook their faults and shortcomings as acceptable or even charming because they had so many good qualities. However, when you get to a point when those same quirks and idiosyncrasies are annoying and worth criticism, you know you’ve gone to a whole new place in your relationship, and it’s not a good one.
  3. You’re not interested in intimacy with them anymore. Are you falling out of love with someone just because you have no desire to have sex with them anymore? Not necessarily. Sexual desire can be affected by any number of things in life. However, if you have no other stresses or medical issues that kill your libido — or worse, you’re horny as hell for everyone else but them — it’s not going well.
  4. You don’t even want to hang out with them anymore. We all have times when we just want to do something different with different people just to get some space from our partners. However, if this is a regular occurrence and you’d literally rather go get a root canal than hang out with them, it’s pretty clear you’re falling out of love (if you haven’t already).
  5. Your future plans no longer include them. It used to be that when you thought about the future, your partner was an obvious and mandatory part of it. Not anymore. These days, you just can’t envision them being there in the months and years to come. In fact, you really hope they’re not. Yikes.
  6. All you do is complain about them to your friends. Another terrible sign, and one that signifies that you really need to break up ASAP. In the end, you’ll look like the bad guy for constantly trashing your partner when the truth is that you’re just not meant to be together anymore and the problem could be solved by breaking up. Do both of you a favor and end it now.
Jennifer has been the managing editor of Bolde since its launch in 2014. Before that, she was the founding editor of HelloGiggles and also worked as an entertainment writer for Bustle and Digital Spy. Her work has been published in Bon Appetit, Decider, Vanity Fair, The New York TImes, and many more.