Am I Going To Die Alone? Illogical Thoughts You Have When You’ve Been Single For Too Long

You’ve done all the work to ensure that you’re happy on your own, but there comes a point in time that even the most happily single among us feel a little fed up with rolling solo. When you just want a partner to share your life with so you can build a future together, not being able to find a good guy for what feels like forever can be wearing. You start to wonder if you’re going to die alone and you’ve probably even had some or all of these thoughts.

  1. “I must be unloveable or something.” If you’re so much of a catch with so much to offer a potential boyfriend, why can’t you find one? While your value has literally zero to do with your relationship status, when you’ve been single for a long time, it can be hard to remember that. You start to think that maybe there’s something seriously wrong with you that just repels men. Don’t believe it—it’s not true!
  2. “Men are garbage.” At some point, you will get so fed up with being single that you’ll be annoyed at the world around you, mostly men. All men will be trash in your mind. They’re all cheaters, liars, players, and not worth your time. At least that’s what you’ll try to convince yourself of temporarily to help you deal with your loneliness. It’s okay, we all go through it.
  3. “I guess I’ll just adopt 100 cats and accept my fate.” Once you get to the point where you haven’t been in a relationship or even on a date for months on end, maybe even a year, you start to wonder if maybe you should just accept your fate and adopt a million cats and prepare to die alone with them eating your corpse. It’s not forever, so stop convincing yourself it is.
  4. “I’m definitely going to die alone.” No, you’re not. It might feel like you are (and if you want to get technical about it, we’re all going to die alone) but that’s likely not going to happen. You have so much time ahead of you to meet someone great and create an amazing life with him. Why are you looking so far into a future that probably doesn’t even exist?
  5. “I wonder if me and my BFF should make a marriage pact.” Hey, if there are no eligible guys out there and time is ticking, it might seem like a good idea to ask your BFF to agree to a pact. For instance, if you’re both not married by the time you’re 40, you marry each other and live as platonic partners forevermore. That could work, right?
  6. “Maybe I’m a lesbian?” Embarrassing but true—we’ve all thought this once or twice. If there are no solid men in your life and don’t seem to be any anywhere around, you might start to wonder if maybe you should “switch sides.” Sadly, sexuality doesn’t work like that, and you know it. You can’t magically wake up one day and decide to be attracted to women just because the situation with men is dire at the second. Get it together.
  7. “Ugh, all those happy couples make me literally want to vomit.” When you’re lonely and wishing you had love in your life, it’s natural that you’d start to feel disgusted by all the happy couples you see. The couple who holds hands walking through the park or who dares to make out at the bar while you’re nursing a drink alone are the worst, totally. One day, though, that’ll be you.
  8. “Screw it, I give up.” Don’t! Sure, don’t let yourself get preoccupied by looking for love and make sure you live life to the fullest, partner or none, but don’t give up on finding someone and something great. It’s out there—keep the faith.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia