You Had An Amazing First Date But Then Never Heard From Him — WTF Happened??

When a first date goes flawlessly, it’s that much more frustrating when the guy never hits you up for a second one. It seemed like you both had fun and vibed really well together, so what gives? If he’s disappeared after an amazing first date, this could be why:

  1. You showed him all your cards too soon. First dates are about keeping the mystery alive and just giving enough information to make you want to see each other again. If you went too personal, you killed the mystery, and he put up his defense.
  2. You acted like his good pal. If you found yourself somewhere in the middle of the date telling dirty jokes, drinking like a fish, or flirting with the bartender just so he could see how fun and “cool” you are, he probably friendzoned you by the time he got home. Acting friendly can be a great ice-breaker, but you have to do it right and know where your limits should lie.
  3. He didn’t get the chance to chase you. You either had sex with him straight away, or you showed him you were ready to jump into a serious relationship as soon as he was willing to give you the green light. You don’t have to play hard-to-get, but most people like to be able to pursue their crush at least a little bit before things get too serious.
  4. You two talked for hours and hours and forgot to flirt. First dates aren’t really about giving long speeches, but keeping it light and flirty. If you briefed him in detail about your dramatic job promotion saga, you didn’t let the connection that was there develop into something else. He may have liked you, but if you kept things too platonic, he might have felt like he was out with a female coworker instead.
  5. There’s someone else in his life. Sorry, but it’s entirely possible that you’re not the only woman in his life. Whether he was just testing the waters with multiple people or he was already in a committed relationship with someone else (jerk!), he might have just decided to pick another girl over you.
  6. He’s a serial dater or a Tinder addict. Even though there was a real connection between you two, his next five Tinder dates kept him too busy to give it a second thought. He might just be one of those guys who likes to play the field, so don’t take it personally if he didn’t want to take things any further with you.
  7. You didn’t meet his standards.  This guy looked normal and laid back on the surface, but when he’s with his friends, he won’t shut up about how a woman should tick all the boxes on his fantasy world checklist. Whether or not his expectations were realistic, you clearly didn’t live up to them, and it’s not worth getting upset over a guy who doesn’t think you’re good enough for him.
  8. You were incompatible. Even though being so different was kind of sexy during the date, once he thought about it later, he decided he doesn’t fit in your “world” and you wouldn’t fit in his. Disappearing probably wasn’t the best way to handle it, of course, but at least he’s not going to waste your time trying to force something to happen with you.
  9. He got nervous. Some guys just get overwhelmed by the dating process. Even if things went well, his anxiety might have gotten the better of him, and he might’ve thought that you just weren’t into him. If he seemed like he was fidgety or overly awkward when you two went out, he might just be one of those men who freaks himself out over this stuff.
  10. It wasn’t a real date. It sounds ridiculous, but the lines of modern dating are often so blurred that it’s totally possible that you misread his intentions. Maybe you considered it “going out,” but he just considered it “hanging out.” He might’ve just been looking for a standalone date or a casual get-together. It’s annoying, but you have to consider that it might be a possibility.
Chrisa is a freelance travel and lifestyle journalist who is obsessed with urban life, big cities, and untold stories.