When You’re An Ambitious Woman, Love Is Even More Complicated

When You’re An Ambitious Woman, Love Is Even More Complicated ©iStock/kupicoo

If there’s a vision you have for your life that you’re working hard to achieve, chances are that you’re busy as hell with your career, hobbies and friendships. That’s just the way it is for those of us who want it all. And when we meet someone special and get into a serious relationship, it’s amazing on so many levels but it can also come with a lot of unique challenges.

  1. We’re always running on a time deficit. Especially for those of us who have more than one career, the struggle is real. We’re up late at night working on projects, and we work in one form or another nearly every single day. We’re not workaholics; we just have a lot of professional goals that are important to us, and skipping a project will give us a lot more anxiety than sacrificing other parts of our lives to get it done.
  2. Relationships require time and effort too. When we’re in love, we naturally prioritize him, but not above work. Significant others typically come in a close second place behind career, and it can be a serious struggle finding the time we really want to spend with them, but we want it all so we find something else we can give up in order to have it all, like sleep.
  3. Our friends start to think we disappeared off the face of the Earth. When we were single, we spent our very limited amount of free time with them, but now we have more priorities and the same amount of time. We’re not trying to be so absentee, but, at the same time, we’re not about to start blowing off important work to go to happy hour with the girls. We became successful by not doing that, and a decline in our professional success is just about the worst thing we can imagine.
  4. We feel bad when we’re asked to do something last minute and have to pass because we have deadlines. We would love to live more spontaneously, but we’re on a time deficit anyway, which means we’ve prioritized our projects based on how time-sensitive they are. If we decide to skip tonight’s project in favor of sushi night, it could mean missing a deadline. Others may not understand, but missing deadlines makes us really anxious, and anxiety is no fun.
  5. We wonder if we talk about work too much. We know that not everyone is as enthralled with our professional pursuits as we are, but we still enjoy talking about them because we’re passionate about our careers. Especially when it comes to our significant others, we love knowing that they care enough to listen to our work stories and be supportive.
  6. When we do take a night off, we’re so tired that we just want to relax at home. We don’t usually succeed at doing so, however, because everyone wants to hang out. It’s not that we don’t want to talk or hang out; it’s just that we’re so exhausted that a 3-day nap sounds so much better.
  7. We love the Netflix and chill date because we love Netflix and we desperately need to chill. To be fair, Netflix and chill takes on a slightly different meaning in a committed relationship. Instead of the single version, which is basically a ploy to get laid without taking a girl on an actual first date, the couples’ version of Netflix and chill involves actually watching Netflix and chilling because it’s legitimately enjoyable (and yes, could still lead to sex).
  8. We still need our alone time. Our schedules are packed as it is, and it’s tempting sometimes to spend all of our very little free time with our significant others, but that’s a bad idea. We know that we function at our best when we’ve had an adequate amount of alone time to decompress, so we have to make sure to set aside that time.
  9. We have no idea how we’ll ever have time for more. For those of us who want families someday, we have no clue how we’ll ever find time to do that on top of everything else we’re doing. It’s a bit daunting to consider; will we have to give up our professional dreams, our sleep or both?
  10. We just want it all, and we’ll get it or die trying. It’s not an easy life, but we don’t know any other way to live because this is who we are. We don’t want to slow down; success is our drug of choice and we’re always chasing a better high; we sincerely hope our partners will come along for the ride.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible.