An Open Letter To All The Men With A “Crazy” Ex

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been called “crazy” by an ex-boyfriend. Most women have been given this label at least once, and most of the time, it definitely doesn’t apply. Instead, it’s usually the male reaction to avoid dealing with or admitting to his own BS. It’s always that she was the crazy one, and nothing to do with anything he said or did to make her feel or act in ways that make him uncomfortable. This stereotype is annoying as hell and needs to die. We’ve figured you out, guys, and this is what we have to say about it.

  1. It takes two. We know that it’s very rare that a woman and a man are just sitting peacefully together when suddenly, out of nowhere, the woman starts throwing frying pans, breathing fire, and having a tantrum without something happening to provoke it. It takes two people, and one has to wonder about any man who describes all of his previous girlfriends as “crazy” without admitting any wrongdoings of his own. The only thing each “crazy” ex has in common is him.
  2. She probably wasn’t really crazy. The definition of crazy to many men is essentially just that the woman didn’t behave or react in a way that was ideal and convenient for him. If a girl texting you several times in a row is “crazy” because you haven’t texted her back, yet you’ve been looking at your phone the entire time and know she’s waiting for a response (I’ve actually witnessed this happen), she’s not the crazy — you’re just a douchebag.
  3. It’s immature. Instead of continuously slandering her character, you can just say that it didn’t work out or that you weren’t right for each other in the end. Why does it always have to be that she was “crazy”? It’s not only juvenile, it’s just plain rude.
  4. It proves that you can’t own up to your own faults. When a man can admit he’s made mistakes, it’s actually an attractive quality — especially when he’s working towards improving flaws that have led to the end of his previous relationships. Yes, guys, this makes you hotter in our eyes. So what, you might have pushed some hot buttons in the past. It happens to the best of us and no one is perfect. Nothing is sexier than a man who wants to do better.
  5. Stop it. When a man starts talking about his ex being crazy to a potential future girlfriend, it can set off alarms. It could mean that he’s the type of guy who won’t communicate with you like an adult when you both disagree on something. Instead, he’ll just tell you you’re “crazy” and skip completely over the thing that upset you in the first place. Seriously dudes, stop this.

At the end of the day, we can’t change the mind of a man who chooses to describe every woman who didn’t behave to his ideal behavioral comfort level as “crazy,” but we can acknowledge that it’s probably a lot of BS. The irony is that some men will read this and say that it must have been written by a “crazy” woman. The word has become a predictable scapegoat and safe haven, but we know there’s more to it — you’re not fooling anyone.