Being an Amazonian goddess isn’t easy. While being tall is generally seen as a good thing—have you ever seen a short supermodel? I don’t think so—being exceptionally blessed in the height department comes with its fair share of struggles.
A lot of guys are either intimidated by or just not attracted to you. If a dude is lame enough to avoid dating you just because you’re taller than him, he’s obviously not worth your time anyway. Still, it’s kind of obnoxious how easily you get ruled out as a potential partner just because you tower over the guy. You’re willing to date a guy who’s shorter than you, so what’s the problem?
Wearing heels makes you feel like the Jolly Green Giant. While you’re a strong, confident woman who doesn’t really care what anyone thinks of you, you have to admit you do feel a little OTT putting on a pair of heels. A nice kitten heel is fine, but those gorgeous 6″ stilettos you’ve been eyeing in the shop window are generally out of bounds and it sucks.
Even long-length jeans turn into high waters. Why is it so hard to find a pair of pants that isn’t a capri?! Even jeans and pants supposedly made for strong people always show your socks and seem to ride up past your ankles. What the hell, designers?
The arms on shirts are always too damn short. It’s like clothing shops are making shirts for children! Not only are the arms always way too short on the shirts you wear, the body is usually the same. You don’t even have to have a particularly long torso for most tops to turn into belly shirts. Ugh, so annoying.
People get annoyed by you at concerts. You can’t help that you’re tall and that you’re a huge fan of Florence and the Machine and want to get as close to the stage as possible. Of course, your early bird ways always backfire because the people behind you spend the whole time complaining about how they can’t see because your tall self is in the way. Oh well!
You always get asked if you play basketball. Nope, you don’t. Nor do you play volleyball. Nor do you want to answer exactly how tall you are the 500 times a day people seem to ask. You don’t ask short people if they’re limbo champions so why is this a thing?
Your head is forever getting cut off in friend selfies. You try to do the whole crouching down with bent knees thing to make sure you fit in, but more times than not you get cut off in all of your photos from nights out with your friends. The only time this doesn’t happen is when you’re sitting down. Couldn’t they zoom out a bit more?
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