There are some important questions your boyfriend should be willing to answer if he’s serious about you. If he can’t or won’t open up about these 16 things, he’s shady as hell and not worth your time. (And for the record, you should be willing to answer them for him too.)
What was the reason for your last breakup? He doesn’t have to talk about his ex so much, but he should be willing to give you the facts about why his relationship with her ended, especially if he was a douchebag who ghosted her or cheated on her.
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? He shouldn’t make light of this question by cracking a joke. He should be willing to tell you straight up what he’s done that was really bad. Hopefully, he’ll also display some regret and shame, which will show you that he’s learned from his mistakes.
Do you believe in marriage? He might not want to get married now or within the next few years, but he shouldn’t be afraid to talk about it. Also, you want to know if your ultimate relationship goals line up nicely because they could affect your current relationship. For example, if he’s not big on the idea of marriage because he doesn’t believe in monogamy, that could mean that he doesn’t want to commit in a long-term relationship.
Are you friends with your ex? You should know where the boundaries lie between him and his ex, if there are any. He should be able to tell you if they talk or hang out or major besties. If he tries to hide her away, that’s a huge red flag.
What was your childhood like? This is an important question to ask early on when you’re getting to know him because it can offer you insights into his personality and what his early family life was like. It affects us all more than we think.
How would you spend a million dollars? It might seem like a cliched question to ask someone, but it can give you a good idea of where he’s at, such as what his dreams and goals are, and whether or not he’s a materialistic person.
What’s your biggest fear? Beware of the guy who plays it cool, saying he’s not afraid of anything. Everyone’s afraid of something, and it will show you what’s important to him (like if he fears not achieving success) and how much you have in common (like if he’s just as scared of spiders as you are). Sharing fears can also help you connect because it means you’re not afraid to show each other your vulnerabilities.
What’s your best memory? He should be open about what his best memories are because it’s a way for you to learn more about him and what he values. You can learn a lot about him by who features in those memories, like if he’s nostalgic about his ex-girlfriend a helluva lot.
What are your views on religion? Yeah, it’s a heavy topic, but it’s important because having religious beliefs that are in sync go a long way to ensuring a happier, more satisfying relationship. If you’re an atheist and he’s a devout Catholic, things may not work out.
What’s your wildest sexual fantasy? If he’s willing to talk about sex, it shows honesty and openness. Holding back is a bit weird if you already know each other well. What is he hiding, or is he not as open about sex as you are?
Are you good with money? If he’s not or leaves you in doubt about his financial savvy because he won’t answer the question, that’s a red flag. You don’t want to get into a serious relationship with someone who’ll expect you to pay their way.
How regularly are you on social media? You deserve to know what his social media habits are like. Is he someone who checks into Facebook or Instagram once a day, does he troll others on Twitter, or is he addicted to checking his social media profiles throughout the day? All of these things are important to know.
Have you had an STD test recently? If he can’t answer this, it’s really shady. He should be open because it means he doesn’t want to put your sexual health at risk. With some guys being quick to discard your concerns by saying they were tested and everything was fine when that’s not the case, you have every right to follow up the question with, “Can I see the results?”
What attracts you to someone? He’s dating you so you’re obviously high on his list, but it’s still interesting to see how he answers this question. If he describes someone who’s quite different from you, whether physically or personality-wise, you might feel that he’s not really all that into you.
How do you define cheating? There are so many different types of cheating, as well as micro-cheating, that you should know where your partner stands on the issue. To you, confiding in another woman too much might be emotional infidelity and considered just as hurtful as sleeping with someone else, while he might think nothing of it. It’s important to know if you’re in sync on this issue.
What do you want out of our relationship? This is a biggie when things start becoming serious. You want to know that you’re on the same page with your relationship needs, wants, and goals. If he can’t answer this question, his silence speaks volumes.
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