Any Decent Guy Will Do These Things For You Even Without You Asking

Nobody’s psychic, so it’s unrealistic to assume that your partner would know everything when it comes to what you want and need. But if he can’t even do these basic things for you without you having to nag him about it, you’ll be a lot happier if you find someone who will.

  1. Give support He should be willing to stand next to you when life throws you a curveball without you having to text him to ask where he is. This is the real mark of someone who loves you. If he can’t be there for you during the toughest times, then he’s not worthy of sharing your best times.
  2. Read between the lines He should be willing to figure out how you feel and what you’re trying to say by listening to your words, but also listening out for what you don’t say. A guy who at least tries to read your body language is a keeper because it shows he’s willing to make the effort to understand you.
  3. Help you with the groceries When you walk in and you’re carrying ten bags of groceries, your partner should get up from the sofa and help you. It’s not about treating you like you’re weak or incapable, but showing he cares. You’d do the same for him, after all.
  4. Make plans to see you If you have to ask him when you can see him or why he’s been so quiet, it’s not a good sign. A guy will want you to be in his life as much as possible when his feelings are real. He will text you to ask you out before you can even think of doing it.
  5. Make things official The “where are we going?” conversation sucks. A guy shouldn’t have to let you initiate it. He should make it clear from early on that he wants to date you exclusively so you both know where you stand.
  6. Listen without jumping in with a solution He should listen to what you have to say and how you feel about something because he cares instead of just giving you a solution or writing off your feelings. This shows you that he’s there for you 100 percent.
  7. Tell you you’re beautiful Just because you’ve been dating for a while doesn’t mean he shouldn’t tell you how attractive you are. He doesn’t have to notice every haircut you get (come on, most people don’t pay that much attention), but he should at least compliment you every now and then to show you that you still do it for him.
  8. Make you feel safe You deserve to be in a relationship with a guy who makes you feel he’s a safe place to rest your bones. You should be made to feel that you can trust him and that he’s someone who won’t let you down or do a runner on you.
  9. Create boundaries with other women Whether it’s his ex or the cute woman he works with, he should take it upon himself to set boundaries with women so that they don’t get in the way of your relationship. For instance, if he’s in touch with his ex, he shouldn’t be hanging out with her or texting her late into the night because that’s inappropriate. But you shouldn’t have to tell him — he should know this himself!
  10. Give you his jacket when it’s cold outside This isn’t about chivalry, but showing he cares about you. A guy who lets you freeze to death on a doorstep is not a guy you want to be with, because he’s only worried about himself.
  11. Share stories about his day You shouldn’t always have to ask “how was your day?” Your boyfriend should want to talk to you about what happened with his colleagues or friends, or even the funny thing he saw on the way to work. You should be the first person he wants to call when something interesting happens because he loves chatting with you.
  12. Give you oral sex If he doesn’t reciprocate oral sex, the selfish guy needs to GTFO! He should want to go down on you because it’s such an intimate act of pleasure and he wants to make you happy.
  13. Respect your privacy Just because you’re in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean you can’t have privacy and space. Your boyfriend should respect both of these things. That means he won’t snoop through your things or try to hog you when he knows you just want to be on your own.
  14. Tell you that you make him happy It sucks if you feel you have to ask your partner if you make him happy or not. It makes you worry that he’s just going with the motions. He should tell you and show you how much better his life is with you in it so you have no doubt about what he feels for you.
  15. Chat to you before making big decisions Sure, he’s got his own goals just like you do, but if he’s making big decisions that affect both of you, he should talk to you about them before going ahead on his own. It’s only right if you’re in a serious relationship, because he should make you feel that you’re a team.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.