Having a long term relationship without disagreements, saying things you regret, or ever being wrong is utterly impossible, but it doesn’t have to be a death sentence. Communication and being honest about your feelings are both essential to happy, healthy relationships. That also means being able to say the magic words — “I’m sorry” — is pretty important too. Not all guys are able to swallow their pride and say them, but if you’ve found a guy who can, you might want to keep him around. Here’s why:
- He can put his ego aside. Admitting you were wrong about something isn’t easy for anyone, but being right all the time certainly isn’t the most important thing either, especially in a relationship. If a guy can take a step back from protecting his ego, admit he screwed up and apologize for it, that means he’s mature and he doesn’t let his emotions control him.
- He doesn’t have to be right all the time. We all like being right, but continuing to fight a point that has already been discounted is just a waste of time. Even if he thinks he might still have an argument, he’s willing to let it go because being right isn’t his top priority.
- He doesn’t want to fight. He knows that fights are inevitable, but that doesn’t mean he enjoys getting into it with you. He knows the difference between an objective debate and a fight that’s turning personal and when it’s heading towards the latter, he’ll start to pump the breaks. Arguments can get out of control fast and that’s not something he wants to happen if it can be avoided.
- Low blows aren’t his thing. If he’s self-aware enough to apologize when it’s called for, he probably also knows that there are certain lines that shouldn’t be crossed. That means he’s probably pretty good at avoiding situations where he’s done or said something so awful that he has to apologize profusely.
- He can be vulnerable. Admitting you’re wrong takes strength and also a willingness to let go of control and be vulnerable in front of someone else. If he does that for you, that means he respects you enough to know you won’t take advantage and he cares about you enough to make sure he isn’t screwing things up beyond repair.
- He wants to make you happy. If he has any common sense, he knows that refusing to admit when he’s wrong is incredibly infuriating. It’s not as if he enjoys making you angry, so he’s often willing to back down because it’s simply a smarter move in the long run. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll tell you you’re right when you’re not, but at least he doesn’t take joy in outwitting you — at least not usually.
- He can put things behind him. Since he’s able to swallow his pride and apologize, he appreciates that ability in other people as well. That means he’s probably not the type to hold a grudge way beyond what’s necessary. You can talk through issues with him and when he says he’s over something, he’s genuinely over it.
- He knows how to do the right thing. Sometimes the right thing is admitting fault and apologizing for it. If he can do that with you, he can also do it with his friends, family and colleagues. That ability to be humble is an admirable quality and one that will get him far in life.
- He knows how to pick his battles. Not every argument is worth the hassle. Sometimes all he has to do is say he’s sorry and that would be the end of it. If he can’t do that over the simplest things, there’s no way he’ll be able to do it when it really matters.
- He’s open-minded. Coming to the conclusion that he screwed up probably means he can see things from your perspective and he’s not stubbornly set in his ways. If he’s willing to admit that his way isn’t the only way, he’s probably also good at taking your feelings into consideration and compromising.
