Any Guy Who Dates Me Has To Know I Tell My Friends Everything

We don’t need Carrie Bradshaw to tell us that girlfriends are essential to the success of any romantic relationship. Whether we’re evaluating first kisses, decoding cryptic texts from our boyfriends, or discussing relationship problems or the size of his junk (sorry, guys, it’s a thing), there’s little if anything I don’t tell my closest girlfriends. Romantic relationships are complicated and I’d be lost without my friends’ advice. That’s why any guy who dates me has to know that I tell my friends everything.

  1. My friends know me better than anyone. From my childhood bestie to my college roommate, my friends know me better than any guy could. They know when I’m being true to myself and when I’m settling for less than I deserve. They’ll be sure to keep me honest and grounded while encouraging me to pursue my goals with or without a man by my side. I trust my girlfriends’ judgment and know they’ll always have my best interests in mind.
  2. They’ve met every guy I’ve ever dated. While I’ve been blinded by love’s rose-colored lenses, my friends have always been able to take an objective view of the guys I’ve dated. They’ve helped me pick out dresses for my first dates, celebrated with me when a guy and I became official, and consoled me with wine and ice cream when breakups occurred. I value my friends’ input when they meet a new romantic interest of mine and while they won’t interfere without my permission, they won’t hesitate to alert me if they spot a red flag.
  3. My girlfriends can empathize in a way no guy ever can. It should come as no surprise that guys and gals are biologically different—and that’s awesome—but this also means there are many things a guy just can’t relate to. Concerns over period sex, his strange comment about my new lingerie, or what he meant when he said he “wasn’t ready” to introduce me to his parents are just a few things my girlfriends and I discuss. Some conversations are just meant to stay between those with two X chromosomes.
  4. Nothing about our sex life is off-limits. Guys don’t get sex from a female perspective like other girls do which is why I’m always talking to my friends about my sex life. We’re open with each other, sharing our experience, offering tips, and commiserating when it just isn’t that good. No one’s better suited to discuss the mystery of the female orgasm like, well, other women and my guy may even thank me later for putting my friends’ advice into practice.
  5. If I’m doubting my relationship, my friends will be the first to know. No one wants to be the needy girlfriend who makes a big deal out of nothing. Which is why I always talk to my friends first if something is bothering me about my guy. I’d go nuts if I had to bottle up my emotions, pretending everything is okay when I have no idea what’s right and what’s wrong in my relationship. Friends are the cheapest form of therapy and are amazing sounding boards for all of my concerns and frustrations.
  6. This doesn’t mean I don’t trust my guy or our relationship. Just because I tell my friends everything doesn’t mean I don’t trust my boyfriend. I’ve had good and bad relationships and trust has been an essential component to making the good ones last. I tell my girlfriends everything, but I also confide in my boyfriend just as he does in his friends. I like to think of my girlfriends as essential supplements to my romantic relationship that can help make the latter stronger.
  7. Acknowledging our individual friendships will improve my and my boyfriend’s relationship. If a guy’s aware of how much I value my female friendships, he’s got to know that it’s not only important, but it’s crucial that he invest in and maintain his male friendships. Having separate friend circles allows us both to maintain our individual identities while part of a couple and not lose ourselves in one another’s expectations.
  8. My boyfriend has to learn to share. No one likes a possessive partner, especially me. My guy has to know that I’m my own person with a handful of valuable relationships that deserve my time and attention. While I promise to commit myself to a romantic partner, my guy can’t expect me to spend all my time with him when it’s my incredible female friendships that have made me into the person he fell for.
  9. It’s important that my boyfriend respects my friendships. What was that the Spice Girls said about “If you wanna be my lover…”? Oh right, “you gotta get with my friends.” My guy has to know my girlfriends are important to me and, as such, they’ll know the good, the bad, and the ugly about our relationship. He needs to respect my friends out of respect for me and know he better treat me well or else I’ve got a whole army of women just waiting to kick his ass.
Julia is a recent graduate of the University of Virginia where she majored in English and French language and literature. She's engaged in an on-again-off-again French love affair (with the country itself) and has been crushing on French pop star Jean-Baptiste Maunier for about 8 years. When she's not writing you can find her rereading The Wizard of Oz or trying to run away with the circus.