To Any Guy Who Ever Made Me Feel Like Crap

To Any Guy Who Ever Made Me Feel Like Crap ©iStock/knape

You hurt me pretty terribly and you didn’t even feel bad about it. You were completely indifferent to my pain, wrapped up in your own selfish world where nobody matters except you. I bought into all your gaslighting and emotional abuse for a long time because it was the only kind of relationship I thought it was possible to have with a man, but that’s all over now. I’ve finally found someone who treats me right, and I realize now how incredibly messed up you were.

  1. You made me honestly believe that I didn’t deserve to be treated properly. Thanks to all of your verbal abuse and emotional manipulation, I believed for a long time that I had to be perfect in order to deserve love. Looking back now, I see how messed up that is. Nobody’s perfect, and true love is unconditional; I see that now because I’ve found it.
  2. You weren’t willing to give me what I wanted, but also wouldn’t let me go. If you weren’t looking for the same kind of commitment I was, of course I’d be hurt, but I’d understand if you’d just been honest from the start. That way, I could cut ties before I got too attached and go find it elsewhere. The fact that you lied, led me on, and dragged things out for your own selfish gain is what hurt me the most.
  3. You used your painful past to justify hurting me, and that’s messed up. When you told me some of your stories, I felt bad for you and it made me want to be there for you. Emotionally, I guess I’m a sucker. However, having bad experiences in your past doesn’t make it OK to hurt someone in the present. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
  4. You told me you liked/loved me, but your actions said something else. Actions speak so much more loudly than words, but I wanted more than anything to believe your words. I wanted to believe in love; I wanted to believe in you. When you let me down, it made me more cynical than I’ve ever been in my life and gave me intense trust issues that I still struggle with. Seriously, screw you.
  5. You used me for sex, food, and a listening ear but had zero respect for me. I’m a woman, a real live person who deserves respect.  I’m not your personal chef or your therapist, and I’m most certainly not your personal escort. I know that I’m a naturally generous person, and you’re a jerk for taking advantage of my kindness.
  6. You begrudgingly offered me scraps of a relationship and acted like I should be grateful. You made me feel crappy about wanting more, even though I had every right to want more. Because of this pattern, I didn’t know how to handle it when I did find the real relationship I was looking for, and I almost ran away. After all I’d been through, I couldn’t comprehend that I’d actually met someone who wanted the same things I did; I thought guys like him literally didn’t exist.
  7. I know what it feels like to be treated the way I deserve now. It was a rough road, but the happiness I have now is amazing. I’ll never let anyone treat me like you did again; I have too much new-found respect for myself to ever allow that to happen again. The door is closed and locked; you’re never getting in again.
  8. Real men give as much as they take in a relationship. Good relationships are built on trust, generosity and honesty. You tried to build a relationship on selfishness, lies, greed and abuse because you only saw what was in it for you. You saw me as a pawn who was there only to please you, and that makes you a class A POS.
  9. You’re an immature coward and you didn’t deserve me. If you were half as brave as you tried to make yourself out to be, you wouldn’t be afraid to commit to anyone and you would be able to open up. I’m glad I saw your true colors before I wasted any more time on you.
  10. Thanks for showing me what I’ll never put up with again. As much pain as you caused me, you also made me stronger and showed me firsthand what kind of behavior is completely unacceptable. I guess I have to say thanks for that. Jerk.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.