Are Guys Intimidated By You? That’s Their Problem, Not Yours

It’s the kiss of death for an independent woman – you’re successful, ambitious, intelligent, have the career of your dreams… and yet you’re still single. Why, when you have so many awesome qualities? Because guys are intimidated by you. It sucks because you’re exactly the sort of person that should have no problem finding love, and yet the opposite is true. Although it may sound totally nuts, it’s actually a good thing if you intimidate guys, and you shouldn’t want it any other way.

  1. The strongest women intimidate people. And you want to be a strong woman, for obvious reasons. So there’s not much you can do there.
  2. You should never play yourself down. If you giggled at every bad joke your date made and agreed with every single thing he said, you might land a boyfriend, but at what cost? You would be sacrificing your right to an opinion and deleting your personality. Hey, you didn’t go to college and then grad school to pretend to be thick to get a guy to like you.
  3. Some guys are simply unimpressive. Not to be mean, but let’s be honest here. We’ve dated guys in the past who were stoners living in their mother’s basement or who didn’t feel the same need to work as everyone else. Those guys? The opposite of intimidating, because they don’t have much to offer. Why should you feel ashamed of how successful you are?
  4. You’re just living your life. You have a thriving career and a beautiful apartment and close girlfriends and hobbies, interests, and a Netflix addiction. You’re just being you and doing what you want. You can’t help it if some people find that scary. It’s their loss.
  5. You can weed out the wrong guys. If you waxed poetic about how much you enjoy what you do on a first date and the guy never called (or texted) you again, good riddance. He couldn’t handle your ambition and he could probably tell that you want success in all areas of your life, from work to love to your future aspirations. That scares some people because they’re not sure they can measure up. That’s a good thing because, well, not everyone can.
  6. Think about it from the other side. The next first date you go on, try to figure out if the person sitting across from you intimidates you. Do you feel nervous because he’s impressively landed a sweet job at his young age? Does he seem super organized? Does he love something kind of nerdy but his knowledge of it makes it cool? It’s good to feel that way because you know you respect this guy and that things will never be boring. You have to be able to grow together as a couple and you’re definitely going to be an awesome power couple if you both intimidate people.
  7. You demand respect. Even if you face rejection because you seem off-putting or unfriendly before someone gets to know you, that doesn’t mean people don’t respect you. Sometimes it’s a compliment when a guy knows he’s not right for you because he’s being honest about his lack of boyfriend potential, and he respects you too much to disappoint you.
  8. The best things are worth waiting for. It would be awesome if we got what we wanted simply because we wanted it, but we all know that doesn’t ever happen. It definitely sucks that you’re solo when you don’t want to be thanks to your sometimes intimidating nature, but once you meet The One, you’ll be glad you waited.
  9. The right guy won’t be intimidated at all. All those guys who didn’t get your dry sense of humor and complained that you had to work every Sunday will pale in comparison when you finally meet someone who totally gets it, and gets you. He will love that you’re ambitious and will want to be right there with you when you achieve your dreams. And you’ll be so glad that the ones before him were too freaked out.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.