Are Relationships Overrated? 8 Ways Love Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be

We go into relationships with a set of expectations and desires that vary depending on who we are and what we’ve been through in the past. However, the more relationships you have and the longer you spend with someone, the more you come to realize that some things are simply just completely overrated and not as important as you once thought.

  1. Overrated: The first time you had sex.It might have been awkward, or it might have been amazing and fueled with passion. Either way, it’s not going to stay that way forever, so dwelling on it is pointless. What’s more important is the sex that comes with time.
  2. Not overrated: Sex in general.Sex is important for maintaining a healthy relationship. You’ve heard of those “sex-less marriages” before, right? They always fail. It’s just a great way to bond and foster an emotional connection, and really brings a couple together. No matter how awkward your first time was, just know that it can only get better.
  3. Overrated: A guy who’s whipped.Do you really want him to wait on you like a servant and never let him speak for himself? Hmm, now that I mention it, it doesn’t sound so bad. But seriously, is this what you really want?
  4. Not overrated: A guy who’s polite, treats you with respect, and cares for you. That really should be enough. You should want him to challenge you (at least some of the time), so that you can grow and learn from him, too. Relationships should be between two equals, right?
  5. Overrated: Your physical appearance. The media has taught us that it’s all about sexy ladies with big breasts and asses, and sexy men with six-packs and neatly trimmed beards. Unfortunately, appearances aren’t forever. They also aren’t as important as someone’s personality, brain, or sense of humor…
  6. Not overrated: Your health.You don’t need to look like a supermodel to be healthy, and no one expects you to. You just need to take care of your body. So yeah, that does mean you should be eating well, going to the gym, and getting enough sleep — but not because everyone is a shallow jerk. If you maintain your health and wellness, you’ll automatically just look better. And in the long run, your health is what makes or breaks you, not the fact that you look like you’re 20 when you’re actually 40.
  7. Overrated: A guy with money and a high-paying job.Contrary to popular belief, money isn’t everything. It can buy a ton of stuff, sure, but that’s it. Just crap. It can’t buy happiness, and it certainly can’t buy love. And a “good job” today is just one where you make enough money to be able to save some on the side and have benefits. That’s it.
  8. Not overrated: Pursuing your passion. Because your passion IS the thing that will bring you that fulfillment. It’s the thing that drives you, that makes you want to be better. And being happy with what you do and how you lived your life is much more important than just having a ton of crap lying around that you’ll never use.
  9. Overrated: Marriage and kids.You don’t need to get married anymore — you don’t even need it to proclaim your love for each other! — and you certainly don’t need to have children. Society expects this of us and pressures us into it, but this is your life and you can live it however you want.
  10. Not overrated: Family, friends, and a meaningful life.While marriage and kids are overrated, the rest of your family and friends and what you do with your life aren’t. If you’re happy with your life and the way it’s going, that’s enough, and more important than doing something just because you think it’s expected of you.
  11. Overrated: Going out as a couple.Just because you’re together doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. Maybe he hates going to brunch with your friends; maybe you hate football games. You don’t have to spend every waking second together. We all need some alone time once in a while.
  12. Not overrated: Spending quality time together.No matter what separate activities you do, you can’t deny the importance of still spending some quality time with each other, whether it be a weekend getaway or just a night in with Netflix and a pizza.
  13. Overrated: Labels.Are you guys now boyfriend/girlfriend? Engaged? Married? Who really cares anymore? We’re not children. Do we have to have a name for everything? First date, first kiss, first time you saw a movie together, first weekend outing, first time you slept over. Just remember your anniversary. That should be enough.
  14. Not overrated: Having a connection. The only thing that should matter is whether there’s something real between you. The rest will follow. Stop trying to keep track of everything or figure out where you guys stand, and just enjoy each other’s company. Eventually, if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.
  15. Overrated: Documenting everything on social media.Nobody wants to see how much you love each other, your pictures from your island resort vacation, or you two holding ice cream cones in Central Park. We get it. You’re a couple. Now put your phones away and live a bit.
  16. Not overrated: Experiences.If you’re constantly on your phone snapping photos or updating your status or texting, you’re not really experiencing the thing you’re trying to capture. What do you want to remember: relaxing with your man on the beach, or taking a picture of your man relaxing on the beach?
Chelsey is a freelance writer in NYC. She's pretty normal by today's standards, or at least that's what her mother tells her.