Kissing is one of the most intimate things that we do with our bodies, and a great kiss is one of the best indicators of chemistry. However, a bad kiss can sour attraction very easily. If you’re a bad kisser, most people won’t tell you that to your face to avoid hurting your feelings. You’re just going to have to figure it out for yourself. Here are some signs that you need to brush up on your lip-locking skills.
- Your teeth get in the way. The last thing anybody wants is to have to fix a dental appointment every time they kiss, so if your teeth are constantly grazing your partner’s, that’s your cue to work on your technique. It’s okay to gently nibble on your partner’s lips, but biting is (usually) not welcome. You don’t want them to bleed or have swollen lips after sharing a kiss with you. Just take it easy and try to be tender whether you’re slow kissing or caught in a fast and passionate lip lock.
- Your hands don’t participate in the process. Your hands are not meant to hang at your side like pieces of wood during a kiss. Not only is it a poor technique, but it might also suggest to your partner that you’re not interested in the kiss. Do something with your hands. Hold your partner close to you. Stroke their arms or back. Run your fingers through their hair. Massage their head. Touch their face. It’ll bring more tenderness and passion to the moment.
- You don’t follow the rhythm of your breath. Imagine kissing someone who had to pause and catch their breath after a brief moment of kissing. Sounds annoying and ridiculous, right? If you have this problem, there’s an easy solution. Pay attention to your breathing when you kiss and try to pace yourself. It’s okay if you can’t make the kiss go on for a very long time. It’s okay to come up for air, just don’t do it too often. When you catch your breath, breathe normally, and not like a drowning person.
- Your partner keeps backing away from your mouth. This is probably the biggest sign that you’re not a very good kisser. The thought of kissing you should make your partner feel like absorbing you into their body somehow. It shouldn’t make them cringe or feel like a trap they have to get away from. If you’re trying to kiss someone and you notice them pulling away or leaning back to avoid your mouth, you need to step back and rethink your technique.
- You jump into tongue action immediately. This is not a good move, especially when the relationship is new. Things can get awkward very fast if you try to force your tongue into someone’s mouth before they’re ready. Start slow and lead with your lips. After a while, you can brush your tongue against their lips and see how they react. If they open up their mouth a little more or return the favor, that’s a sign that your tongue is welcome to venture further. Still, you’ll want to keep the tongue action to a minimum. Don’t just dart it in and out. Find a good rhythm and be gentle.
- You don’t pay attention to your partner’s responses. Kissing is like dancing. It requires a give and take between you and your partner. You need to read the cues their body gives you, otherwise, you’ll end up ruining the movement for both of you. Lead a little, then let your partner lead for a while and follow their tempo. Go back and forth like this. If they resist your approach at any point, take that to mean you’re not doing something they like. Back off, regroup, and try a different technique.
- There’s too much saliva involved. I think the worst kind of kisser is the one who drools all over you. There’s nothing sexy about feeling like you’re being bathed in spit or having to wipe your mouth after every kiss. It’s uncomfortable and unappealing. You want your mouth moist enough to be inviting, but not so much that you end up dripping spit all over your partner’s face. To avoid this, try swallowing often in between kissing. Or take a break to sip some water and regain composure before resuming the kiss.
- You have too much tongue in the game. Using too much tongue can earn you the reputation of being a bad kisser. Always be mindful of how much tongue you have in your partner’s mouth when kissing. Too much can be unpleasant and a little suffocating for the person on the receiving end. If you’re unsure about how much tongue to use, err on the side of caution. Less is more in this regard.
- You make weird noises. All you should hear when kissing is the gentle caressing sound of your lips on theirs and maybe some subtle moaning. Making strange or weird noises can distract from the experience and ruin the flow. If you’re a loud kisser, try to tone it down when you hear yourself making too much noise. Breathe in and continue with measured excitement. This will help you avoid scaring your partner away with bizarre sounds.
