Thanks to Disney princesses, movies like The Notebook, and people like John Legend flying across the world just to watch Love Island with Chrissy Teigen, it’s easy to have a skewed view of what love is. The problem with being a hopeless romantic is that you often feel disappointed when romance doesn’t play out the way you think it should. Keep reading for some signs that you’re just a bit too much of an idealist when it comes to love.
- You think fighting is the end of the world. It’s understandable that some people assume fighting in a relationship means that the relationship is doomed. No one enjoys arguing with the person they love! While constant fighting can indicate that there is a problem, healthy arguments every now and then do not mean that the relationship is not going well. Arguments are a good thing because they allow you to sort out your issues rather than suppress them. Getting through those arguments can also bring you closer together.
- You’re looking for perfection. Sadly, if you’re looking for someone who’s perfect, you’re going to end up disappointed. No one is perfect, not even Harry Styles. No matter who you date, they’ll invariably have something wrong with them. Rather than looking for someone with no flaws, look instead for someone you like enough for their flaws to not matter.
- You want to be perfect. Just as you can’t be with someone who’s perfect, you also can’t be a perfect person. Yes, it’s tragic, but you’ll never be perfect. So don’t wait until you’ve lost this much weight or got this job before seeking a relationship. If you want one now, then you’re ready for one now, just as you are.
- You want a partner with no baggage. In an ideal world, the person you fall in love with won’t have any baggage. But in the real world, the majority of people have some kind of baggage. Whether it’s an ex, annoying family members, children, debt, or something else, most people come with things that their future partner will have to deal with. That’s not to say that you have to be open to dating a guy with kids or a woman who’s got major trust issues. If something is a deal-breaker for you, then it is. But just be aware that most people have some kind of baggage.
- Your standards revolve around looks. Again, if something’s a deal-breaker for you, then you can’t help that. And similarly, you can’t choose to be physically attracted to someone if you’re not feeling it. That said, it’s not a good idea to date someone based on their looks alone. If you decide that what you want in a guy is for him to be over six foot with brown eyes and broad shoulders, you’re less likely to care about more important things, like how he treats you.
- You expect life to be like the movies. If you’ve been watching too much Disney or too many rom-coms, then you may have developed an unrealistic idea of love. No, your ultimate kiss probably won’t be with a guy hanging upside down in the rain. If you tell your Hinge date that you’re flying to a faraway place, she probably won’t rock up at the airport and try to stop you from boarding. Don’t expect real life to happen like that. And then if it ever does, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
- You want a relationship to solve all your problems. Relationships can dramatically improve your life. The right ones can bring happiness. And after experiencing the best ones, it’ll be hard to imagine your life without them. But that doesn’t mean relationships can solve all of your problems. Expecting a partner to rescue you puts way too much pressure on them, and will leave you feeling majorly disappointed. In life, a relationship can be a source of joy and light in your life, but you still have to rescue yourself. No matter how great it is, it won’t magically solve all of your problems.
- You expect to feel happy all the time in a relationship. If you don’t feel happy all of the time with your partner, it’s not necessarily a red flag. Life comes in ups and downs, relationships included. You may go through rough patches with your partner but it doesn’t mean that the relationship is doomed or unhealthy. As long as overall your relationship makes you feel happy, it’s okay for it to bring hard moments too.